“We'll find it.”
His sad smile rose. “I love that you say we.”
“These people are mine now. You're mine now.” It might be bold of me to state it that way, but I meant it. I'd gone from dreading being with this man to feeling the first touches of affection, to… Was this heady, torturous, exquisitely painful feeling love? I'd loved Kinart, but with Lorant and Merrick, it felt different. Richer, though that could come from me being older and hopefully, wiser.
What we had could be lasting if I could find a way to grab onto it and make it my own.
“I am yours,” he said with so much pain in his voice, it gutted me. “No matter what happens, remember that. Rememberme?”
My eyes burned with tears. That time was roaring toward me and there may be no way to get out of its path, but we still had now.
“No matter what happens, I will find you in every lifetime.” His gaze searched mine. “I promise.”
The threads I’d used to bind together the squares in my quiltof peace were shredding. Perhaps it was a wall I’d erected between us. Kinart’s death nearly destroyed me. I’d wanted to make sure Merrick and Lorant’s wouldn’t.
I should’ve been tugging them beneath the quilt with me instead of lifting it between us.
“Merrick.” I pinched my stinging eyes closed before opening them again. “You break me.”
“That’s never been my wish. I only want to make you feel whole. Fulfilled. Happy.”
Was that even possible with everything going on around us?
“Don't carry this burden on your own,” I said. Mentally, I was lifting the edge of my quilt, nudging my chin to show him he could climb beneath it with me. Share warmth and the peace the quilt could bring us both.
“It’s my role to hold the burdens that come from being king of this court.”
I braced my palms on the edge of the table, leaning toward him. “I’m here. I want to share this with you. Let me shoulder some of those burdens for you. I can hand them back when you're ready to carry them once more.”
His lips tilted up in a half-smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “You’re already helping more than you know.”
Maybe that was true, but it wasn’t enough. Not for me. Not when he looked like he was holding up Evergorne and the entire world on his shoulders. I wanted to ease some of that for him, even if I couldn’t take it all. And not just because of our marriage or my duty as queen. I wanted it for him, for the man I was coming to care for in ways I couldn’t define.
“Please,” I said.
He searched my eyes for a very long time. “Alright.”
“Thank you.” I could almost feel him easing beneath the quiltto join me. I mentally tucked it beneath our chins and hoped he’d feel the strength and hope it offered.
Swinging my legs against the table, my shoes brushed against his shins. “Maybe we both need a break to clear our heads.”
His brows lifted, and he tilted his head. “What do you have in mind?”
“Do you have to meet with your advisors today?”
“Yes, but fuck them.” His mouth curled up further. “Tell me what you're thinking of, because I'd much rather spend my time with you.”
“I don’t know.” I mentally riffled through ideas. “A walk outside? Maybe some sparring in the training room?”
“I do enjoy rolling around with you on a training mat, and a walk outside could prove entertaining.”
I leaned close to him and placed my hands on his shoulders. He really was well built. I could stare at his body—drool about it—all day. “I could teach you to flit.”
His gaze snapped to mine. “Are you going to tease me with your kisses, then disappear from my arms?”
“If I share the spell, it could be you teasing me with your kisses while you disappear frommyarms.”
“If you're kissing me, I'm not going anywhere. But flitting… I've heard of it, of course, and I’ve seen you do it a few times, but it's not something anyone does here. I may not be able to perform the trick.”
