I needed to hate him.
But even now, I couldn’t.
I dropped my blades, dropped my mental guards, and damn me, I dropped the walls around my heart, opening myself up to this man again.
His mouth tilted upward, but it wasn’t a smirk. Not even a grin. It was something more broken than that.
Merrick knelt, slowly, deliberately, his knees landing hard on the floor.
His gaze never left mine. “I will do whatever it takes, Reyla. Anything. Just name it.”
8
Reyla
We said nothing as we left the training room, but a feeling of peace had settled over me. Something had changed inside. The gnashing fury I’d felt last night had fled, replaced with a quiet resolve and…
I wasn’t even sure what else I felt. It was too fragile to lift into the light, to turn and examine from every angle. If I did something like that, it would break, and breaking this vulnerable thing between us would sever something inside me I’d never be able to repair.
“I need to be in the throne room today,” he said when we stopped outside the door to my suite. “Come to me?”
Even in this, he asked rather thanmake demands.
Hecould be that fragile thing I didn’t dare hold up in the light, along with the feelings inside me that were wrapped around him.
“I will,” I said.
He gave me a true smile, and while it was crooked, it contained his heart. Seeing that trust he continued to extend my way gouged into a part of me that was as fragile as him.
“Thank you. I’ll come by to escort you shortly.” He tugged on a strand of my hair that had come loose from the simple binding at my nape, then dropped it and strode away from me, down the hall toward his room.
When I stepped inside, Farris bounded over to greet me, sitting in front of me with that silly silver ball in his mouth. He dropped it at my feet and looked up at me, his bushy tail sweeping across the floor.
“He adores that ball,” I told Faelith, who’d risen from a chair in the sitting area and was striding toward me.
“That he does.” She stooped down beside him and gave him a hug. “He’s a sweet little fellow.”
“Thank you for thinking of toys for him. I wouldn’t have done it on my own.” There was no excuse other than I was busy.
And heartsick.
“I’m always happy to provide playthings for Farris.” Faelith rose, beaming. “Never worry about where his true affection lies. He adores you all the more because of that ball.”
I gave her a quick hug.
“I’m going to the throne room,” I announced to Calista and Moira who also waited in the room. “I need to bathe and change, and quickly. Faelith, could you tell Surren of my plans for the day?”
“Very well.” Faelith curtsied and slid out into the hall, closing the door behind her.
Calista and Moira hurried into the bedroom.
I followed them, stripping off my sweaty leathers and stepping into the tub Calista prepared. I washed fast. After drying, I let them help me don a light green dress. I sat at the vanity while they styled my hair and placed a small crown on my head. This would be my first appearance as the newly crowned queen, and I was grateful my ladies made me look good.
Merrick knocked, and at my call, stepped inside, taking the ball from Farris and tossing it. The nyxin scampered after it but instead of returning to Merrick, he scurried over and plunked it by my feet.
I thought about taking him with us to the throne room, but worried he’d want me to throw the ball down the red-carpeted aisle, over and over. Some might find that entertaining, but those I needed to impress most would not.
“I’ll escort my queen,” Merrick told my ladies, his confidence seemingly restored, though that touch of sadness he’d spoken of still lingered.
