I helped her stand, and together we walked across the empty throne room.
“Thank you,” she said softly, leaning against my side.
“For my wicked tongue?”
She rolled her eyes. “For believing in me, for giving me the chance to prove myself today.”
I turned to face her, cupping her cheeks in my hands. “Reyla, you've proven yourself a thousand times over. Not only today, but every day since I met you. You’re fierce and brave, and I’m so proud that you’re mine.” I leaned close, whispering in her ear. “You're so much more than just a pretty little bride.”
34
REYLA
It was all I could do to make my body move as we left the throne room. My legs shook from spent passion, and my brain spun. I didn’t want to think about what this meant in relation to my past. For this one time, I wanted to savor the bliss I’d found with Merrick without letting guilt or a feeling of betrayal ruin it.
Would it be so horrible for me to find joy with someone new?
Out in the hall, Merrick stopped, turning to face me.
What looked like a full battalion of guards stood on either side of the enormous doors leading to the throne room. Three men in long dark robes waited at the end of the hallway, their stern expressions focused on Merrick.
Had they all heard me scream? Please tell me they hadn’t. Heat fired my face, and it must look scalded. But I wouldn’t take back what happened. My bones hummed, and I couldn’t decideif I wanted to curl up somewhere and take a nap or drag Merrick to my bedroom and finish what we’d started.
“I’d like to spend the rest of the day with you.” Regret tinged Merrick’s words. His glance took in the three men fidgeting at the end of the hall. “My advisors are impatiently waiting to speak with me. I . . .” He glanced down at his pants, and his crooked grin rose. A flick of his finger and he wore identical, clean pants, a handy trick I wished I could do for myself. “I need to speak with them. I put them off yesterday and today, they will not be denied.”
“You need to eat lunch, don’t you?”
“I’ll have the cooks send something to the room, and we’ll eat while we talk.” He stroked my hair. “I’m sorry. I want to talk with you and share everything I can. Honestly, I want to be with you all the time but . . .”
But he was a king. It would be wrong of me to demand every moment of his day.
“It’s alright. I’ll grab something quick and walk in the gardens or something.” I wasn’t sure why I lied. Why not just tell him I was going to the library to snoop into his family history? He’d essentially suggested I help him already.
My irritation with him had ridden away with my orgasm, and maybe it was a bad thing that I’d allowed him to distract me. But there was no need to pester him now. Not while he was edging away from me and many hovered around us, acting like they weren’t listening when they probably were.
I could talk with him later, after I’d done some research of my own.
He held my face and kissed me, and the heat spiralingthrough me even from this simple touch both stunned and dismayed me. Where was the woman who’d thought she’d love only one man for a lifetime? Where was the grief she’d drowned in after he was murdered?
Her heart was finding a new home in the Evergorne King.
I wasn’t sure what to think about that, so I chose not to think about it at all. I’d wallowed in grief for a long time, and . . . I was tired of the tight feeling in my throat, of wanting to curl into a ball and cry, of the gut-wrenching agony I’d lived with since losing Kinart. This wasn’t ignoring those feelings; they’d never go away. I didn’t want them to, because that would mean pushing him aside.
This felt more like finding room in my heart for someone who could balance the pain with new joy, and that was alright. If I didn’t find a way to live, I might as well join Kinart in the funeral pyre.
The smile I gave Merrick came easier than I’d hoped. Sadness swirled through me, but I couldn’t deny the spark of excitement I felt at the thought of stepping forward with this man by my side. “I’ll see you later today, then?”
“My meetings may go until after dark.” He gripped my shoulders. “I wish I could be with you instead.” The longing in his voice told me he meant it.
“I won’t see you again today, then? We could walk in the gardens tonight. There must be a parlor where we could sit and talk.”
He stroked my cheek with his knuckles. “I wish I could. I’ll see you tomorrow, though?”
Because I didn’t want to cling, I nodded.
His posture loosened, and he lifted his hand. “Surren?”
One of the red and silver dressed men marched over to stand beside us, giving us both a deep bow. “Yes, my king?”
