Kieran knew what was coming—his spirit warned him—but he made no effort to stop it. Logan had to get it all out. Give voice to the darkness that had ruled him for so many years. So, he said nothing and stayed where he was, on his mate’s chest, but tears, one by one, began to roll down his face as he waited for Logan to finish.
Letting out a deep breath, Logan spoke. “We were in Las Vegas on a spur-of-the-moment trip after our school year was over when Jackson got the call from Jimmy about the massacre. My first thought was about my father and how glad I was he was finally out of my life. But then, the reality of losing my mother and siblings set in, along with the guilt I felt for being happy about my father’s death. The two emotions went to war in my mind and I couldn’t handle it, so I stopped thinking and became numb to every feeling in my body. From that day until I met you, I lived my life with as little feeling as possible and, to make sure it stayed that way, I continued to build my wall to make sure I’d never feel guilt or hatred or any other emotion, for that matter.
“But then you arrived with your love of pink and your sassiness and I found myself yearning to feel once again…really feel. Your light filled me with hope…hope about my future…hope about love…hope that I could start to live because I knew I hadn’t been living. No, I was just existing…unable to move forward. Suddenly I found myself daydreaming about what my life with you could be.” Logan squeezed his eyes shut, trying to stop his tears.
Kieran was crying. He couldn’t help it. The pain was rolling off his mate and crashing over Kieran like ocean waves. He hugged Logan tightly, kissed his chest, and moved his entire body on top of his mate’s, trying to absorb the roiling waters, but nothing worked. Desperate to offer some relief, Kieran did the only thing he could think of—he sang an ancient song to Logan, a song designed to comfort and ease pain.
The haunting melody wrapped itself around Logan and found its way through the crack in his wall…forcing it wider until it finally crumbled…and then, the love-laced notes began to envelop Logan’s long-lost soul…his ice soul…a soul long frozen and lost.
Kieran sang from his heart…sang for his mate’s loss…sang for his pain, and while waiting for the notes to melt the ice of Logan’s soul, he held his mate tightly, letting him know they were one and neither would ever be alone again.
Chapter 25
As Logan’s ice soul melted, the fiery heat of his newly released dark memories, deep inside him, rose to the surface, filling his body. Tumbling over each other as they rushed into his mind, he was quickly overwhelmed, panicking as each one brought with it a different emotion. So many…trembling at the onslaught…unable to deal with them…Logan began to shift, just to get away.
Kieran, aware of what was happening, reached under his mate’s shirt and laid his cool hands over Logan’s heated chest, sending out everything he had to help. Kieran focused solely on Logan’s face, seeing the constant flickering of pain shoot across it as his mate relived all the feelings he’d kept locked away for so long.
Though shadows grew long and the sun began to set, Kieran refused to move his hands or leave Logan until the last painful memory took flight and his mate was at peace. When Logan’s face grew calm, Kieran felt it through his hands, he finally collapsed, exhausted and drained from the energy he’d spent.
Logan lay quietly searching for the darkness that had been his companion for so many years but found nothing; hatred…guilt…shame…anger…all gone. In their place, he only saw light and love from Kieran. In that moment, Logan could see the terrible cost he’d paid for his wall. Never really feeling any emotion fully, he’d existed in a half-life, not even able to savor his successes or achievements…all because he’d buried what had happened to him for so many years.
He owed his mate so much. His arms tightened around Kieran who was still on his chest. Then, through their joined wolves and spirit, Logan realized the cost Kieran paid for helping him. Sitting up slowly while Kieranlolled limply in his arms, Logan looked for the enforcers and driver; his mate needed food and rest.
He spotted Groose and motioned him over. The enforcer asked, “Mr. Blackwood, are you ready to go to the house?”
“Yes, Kieran needs sleep. How close are we?”
“Twenty minutes, sir.”
Logan rose carefully while cradling his mate. Walking to the car he saw the driver holding the back door open. Logan slid in with Kieran and rearranged him in his arms. “Thank you,” he said to the driver. “Do you know where we’re staying at?”
“Yes, sir.”
“As fast and as smooth as you can, please,” said Logan.
“Logan,” Kieran called, his voice very weak.
“Yes,mo anan cara,are you all right?”
“So tired…”
“I know, babe, I’m taking care of that,” Logan crooned to his mate, his hand gently rubbing Kieran’s back. “Hush, don’t worry, we’ll be there very soon.”
“Okay,” Kieran whispered, giving up the fight to try to keep his eyes open. Enveloped by his mate’s scent and held by gentle arms, he slipped back to sleep.
While his mate slept, Logan’s mind was on the revelations Kieran had expressed. With rejection and little love, he marveled at his mate’s resilience in overcoming everything to become the loving and giving person he held in his arms and vowed to give Kieran all of him from that moment on. He deserved no less. Leaning down to kiss his mate’s head, Logan inhaled Kieran’s scent—orange blossoms and sunshine—a scenthe’d found so disagreeable a few days ago, but couldn’t get enough of now.
His eyes roamed over Kieran, taking in every detail while loving how perfectly he fit into Logan’s arms. Astounded at how protective he felt toward his mate, Logan vowed no one would ever hurt him again, including himself. Chuffing at Logan’s vow, his wolf signaled full agreement and stood guard over Kieran’s smaller wolf. Logan was still uneasy about having another wolf and spirit inside him, but the more he thought about it, the more he liked it.
Logan wanted to, and could give Kieran his whole heart, body, mind and soul so it wasn’t important anymore what his mate was—only that he belonged to Logan forever. Feeling the car slow down, he looked out and found himself staring at a very large country house built when the English ruled Ireland.Fuck, Steel doesn’t do anything half way.
As the driver pulled up to the front doors, a man dressed in a suit came out and down the stairs. He opened Logan’s door, and after seeing Kieran sleeping, whispered, “Sir, I’m Thomas. May I help you with him?”
“No, that’s okay, I’ve got him,” Logan whispered back, “but if you could tell me where our room is, I’d appreciate it.”
“Certainly, please follow me.”
Logan held Kieran close as he followed Thomas into the house and up the grand staircase until they reached a room at the end of the hall. After Thomas opened the door, Logan’s gaze zeroed in on a small bedside lamp casting a soft glow on the huge bed and headed there. Setting Kieran down on the fluffy comforter, he removed the pink shoes and picked up a blanket from the bottomof the bed to cover his mate. Turning off the lamp, Logan turned back to Thomas who was standing inside the door. “Thanks, Thomas.”
