“Don’t call. Slate’s men will let Steel know. You just focus on Kieran.”
“Okay, I love you bro.” Taking his bag from Steel and giving Daniel a hug and a kiss, Logan walked out the front door and, hearing his twin call out to him, turned back to Jackson with a questioning look before smiling as he heard him say, “Enjoy the helicopter ride!”
Much to his surprise he did enjoy the ride and was astounded at the interior of the jet. Colton’s pictures certainly didn’t do justice to the finishes, comfort or feeling of luxury that enveloped him.
When he was gently shaken awake, Logan couldn’t believe he’d fallen asleep given all the worry weighing him down. After freshening up in the full bathroom, he ate the breakfast waiting for him and before he knew it, the jet had landed. From there, everything went just as Steel said it would—the enforcers were waiting for him along with a car and driver. Taking Logan’s suitcase, the head enforcer—Groose—led him to a car where a driver held opened the door for him. Logan got in, hopeful for the first time since he started his journey.
On the plane he thought about the advice Oracle gave him and had reached a decision. Finally, the driver started the car and drove off in the direction of the Hill of Tara—at least Logan hoped so—and while trying to distract himself from what might happen, he looked around at the land of his mate’s birth, falling in love with it. When the car slowed down and then stopped, Logan found himself no longer nervous or worried. Instead, a steely determination filled him as he got out of the car and looked around. The driver came up to him, pointed and said, “Sir, that is the only ancient oak tree near the Hill of Tara.”
Logan started walking toward the stately tree with its many gnarled branches. The closer he got, the more he could feel his mate through Kieran’s spirit. He slowed his footsteps and held his breath, then gasped at seeing his mate, eyes closed, lying in the tall grass that grew around the base of the tree.
Hearing the noise, Kieran opened his eyes, stared at Logan and then, his mouth slowly curved upwards until the smile his mate loved made an appearance.
Chapter 23
Losing himself in the blue of his mate’s eyes, Logan stood still and mute, unable to believe it was that easy to find Kieran. Now here, all he could think of was Oracle’s advice of giving his all to the one who would forever bring light into his dark world. When Kieran’s smile faltered, Logan reacted quickly, knowing he didn’t want to be the cause of it, and said, “Hello Kieran, mind if I join you?” Then he immediately inwardly sighed.How fucking stupid was that? I should’ve thought about what to say when I was on the plane.But when he got a mega-watt smile in return, he grinned back, so happy to know his pink-loving twink was okay.
“Have a seat,” Kieran said as he patted the ground next to him. And after Logan sat, he continued softly, “I owe you an apology for leaving…”
“No, you don’t. I was wrong to react the way I did,” interrupted Logan. “I’m so sorry I fought the joining of our wolves and your spirit. It’s just I didn’t know it was going to happen and I don’t do very well with the unknown.”
Laying his hand on Logan’s arm, Kieran said, “I should have told you about him, but I was…” His voice trailed off, cheeks turning pink as he remembered the passionate sex. Changing the subject, Kieran looked up into the old tree and said, “I was left here as a pup…my birth parents didn’t want me. My adoptive parents sold me twice and the only person that wanted me was my Shaman and only because he was tasked by the Fates to teach me. The first friends I ever made were Theo and Norman.”
Sighing, Kieran continued, “Cody asked me why I was sent to the Blackwood Pack and I told him I had no idea until my songs found you and my spirit told me you weremy Fated Mate. A Fated Mate! I couldn’t believe it at first. I thought the Fates were angry at me for something I did or didn’t do…it’s hard to figure out their reasons sometimes…so I had given up on finding the one person who would never reject me.”
When Logan started to speak, Kieran said, “No, please let me finish.” And after Logan’s quick nod, Kieran continued, “It was a heady thought. No matter what I was, my mate would want me forever. For me, who’s only known rejection his whole life, well, I was so excited it felt as if my body was filled with stardust and sunbeams…all sparkly and shining…and I had to tell someone so I told my best friends.”
“Theo and Norman,” said Logan softly.
“My best friends. Meeting them was kismet! Knowing the pain of rejection by our parents tied us together at first, but then our bonds grew, well, until we became our own family and for once in my life, I knew what it felt like to have a family who was happy for me. Before my spirit told me about my Fated Mate, I was envious they had each other. Oh, not that they ever made me feel unwanted, just the opposite. Their love is so pure and strong, they made room for me to bask in it and I wanted more…more just for me…a love that would be so strong and pure it could be given away and never missed. So, you see, when I found you, I had a lot of expectations for you to fulfill. The only trouble is I didn’t tell you. But that’s not all. No, the worst part is I expected you to know this and when you tried to pull away from me when my wolf and spirit were trying to join with your wolf, I took it as a sign of rejection.”
“But, I wasn’t rejecting you,” cried Logan, “I didn’t know what was happening.”
“I’ve since figured that out. But when it happened, it just seemed to me I was being rejected again and I left because I didn’t want to see the look in your eyes the next morning. I decided to come here to figure out why no one ever wanted me.” Kieran glanced down at his pink shirt, skinny jeans and his matching pink shoes, then looked back up into the gnarled branches and said, “I don’t dress like any wolf shifters I’ve ever met, I wear make-up, I’m small with an attitude bigger wolves hate, and I don’t fit into a pack simply because they don’t know what to make of me. But after I left, I realized the first place that ever accepted me for who I am was your pack.”
Kieran could feel the tears leak from the corners of his eyes and fall to the grassy patch beneath him, but did not stop—he needed Logan to know this. “I can’t change who I am for anyone. I have a wolf and a spirit, and they are part of me the same as how I dress or my attitude or my size. When Cody convinced me to go home with him, I was worried at first but when Norman negotiated with Slate for our own money so we could leave if we wanted to, it gave us the out we needed if things turned to shit. But it was the best surprise ever because it was the first place I ever felt was my home and then I discovered it also was the place where my heart was.
“I don’t know what you were expecting as a mate but from the first moment I saw you standing on the front porch, I wanted you like I never wanted anyone else,” Kieran said, his voice so low it was almost a whisper. “I can still see you so clearly, standing apart from the others…just a little bit…not that anyone noticed but I did. My wolf howled, and my spirit sang when I walked past you with Theo and Norm. I wanted so badly to touch you but instead I settled for a brush against your arm. And when we finished eating…I was pushing them to eat faster…I couldn’t wait to see you again, but you were gone.”
Brushing his tears away, Kieran went on, “The next two weeks drove me crazy, always waiting to get a glimpse of you or trying not to hurry downstairs at meal times but hoping when I got there, I would see you. When Theo told me he had spent some time with you, I was so jealous…even though you did an amazing job teaching him how to dress…almost as good as what I could have done…but not quite. So, freaking jealous! I spent time trying to figure out how I could be near you. When Cody told us we’d be working with different brothers, I had crossed my fingers hoping I’d be assigned to you.”
Pausing to get his emotions under control, Kieran continued, “Instead, I was assigned to Zane…don’t get me wrong, I had a good time with him, but he wasn’t you. When I took a shower that afternoon, I started to sing the songs I’d learned from my Shaman. Some of them are ancient but I love them so imagine my surprise when my spirit tells me you are my Fated Mate. Then I sang of my joy and love at finding you. I was easily distracted that evening because all I could think of was you and how much I loved you even though we’d never spoken to each other.”
Logan lay next to Kieran and pulled him close to him, hoping to assuage his mate’s pain. “Mo anan cara,I understand, you don’t have to go further.” Gently rubbing Kieran’s back, Logan realized what Oracle had tried to tell him before he left was what he had to do—no matter what the risk to him. His mate deserved no less.
Kieran’s eyes were closed as he inhaled his mate’s delicious scent, calming him and settling his spirit. But he had to tell the rest, so Logan knew everything. “That night, I lay in bed, thinking how you could get to knowme before the mating desire took hold and you claimed me. In the morning, I had an idea how to proceed, but when Zane said he’d be busy all day, I seized the moment and asked Cody to assign me to be your intern. When he agreed to the change, I literally danced my way down to Zane’s room. And then it was time to see you. I was so nervous, my hands were sweaty and my heart was beating so loudly I was sure Cody would ask me what was wrong.”
Kieran stopped, remembering how he felt at that moment. “When the door opened, and I saw you, the rest of the world fell away and you filled it instead…you filled me. The day was magical, more than I ever thought possible. I kept sneaking glances at your long strong fingers, the way they held a pencil, the curve of your forearm, the gracefulness of your movement—everything about you enthralled me and I could barely speak coherently. Your voice sung to me, so I never wanted you to stop speaking. But when you actually listened and considered my opinion about your work, I knew I loved you with my whole heart and soul.”
Pushing back so he could sit up and look into Logan’s eyes, Kieran went on, “The next morning when I woke in my bed, I knew I had to tell you about being your Fated Mate. It wasn’t fair that I knew, and you didn’t. I was so afraid of your reaction to finding out what I am. But I was greedy and decided one more day wouldn’t hurt. So, I sat there again, deceiving my Fated Mate, just because I was too much of a coward to face another rejection…especially from you. I loved everything we did that day and knew the Fates had given me the best mate ever.”
Kieran lowered his long eyelashes, hiding his vivid blue eyes from Logan, as the pain of what he did reflected in his face. When he spoke again, his voice was so low, onlyLogan’s wolf hearing allowed his words to be heard. “When you kissed me, I should have stopped until I told you everything. But I didn’t…I wanted it, needed it and for once in my life, I thought only of myself. So I took and took, and when you wanted to claim me, I willingly pushed aside all my doubts and never told you everything before you gave me a claiming bite…just to feel wanted by you. It was a heady feeling and I never felt more alive than the moment you bit me.”
Opening his eyes, filled with unshed tears, Kieran whispered, “Then you struggled, retracted your fangs and I could feel your panic as my wolf and spirit entered you. That’s when my world came crashing down. All that was running through my head was ‘how could I do that to my Fated Mate?’ I took away your right to choose because I was greedy…so fucking greedy…and I knew you’d never forgive me, so I waited until you were asleep, and I left you…left the one who had my heart forever…because I couldn’t bear to see your face in the morning when you realized what I’d done.
“I owed you my honesty, but I failed the most important person in my life and for that I’m sorry. I don’t know if I can, but I’m trying to find a way to reverse our claiming bites, so you’ll have the freedom to find a mate who will treat you the way you deserve. I’m so sorry, Logan.” Then the tears Kieran had held back fell silently on the ground near the sacred site of Tara as his body began to shake with sobs.
Logan’s heart broke at the sounds of his mate’s crying, rising in the air surrounding the ancient tree. He pulled Kieran down to him and wrapped him in his strong arms, holding him tenderly while giving his beautiful hair soft kisses. Together, they lay there, Logan giving love and comfort to ease the pain Kieran felt about what he’d done.
