Kieran, Theodore and Norman exchanged looks before Kieran spoke. “Alpha, that’s nice but I’m not…”
“Stop treating us as children!” shouted Theo.
“Stop deciding stuff for us!” yelled Norman.
“Stop treating us like we’re fragile!” cried Theo.
“Stop doing everything in the name of protecting us!” added Kieran. “Alpha, I haven’t lived in a pack for a long time and Theo and Norm never have, only a den which isn’t the same. I’m not sure after everything we’ve been through, pack life is for us. No offense big guy, you run a very nice pack, but I don’t think we fit in.”
“I can see how you feel that way,” Jackson agreed, “but before we get to that point, let’s talk about what Theo and Norman said. I’ve been thinking about this before it came to a head this morning, so I want to run some things past you first, if that’s okay.”
“Shoot,” said Kieran.
“I know you’re adults, but I keep thinking of what you went through and my urge to protect you is through theceiling. It’s the same feeling I had for my brothers when I first learned our family and pack had been massacred. I gathered my brothers and drove through the night fearing the hounds of hell were on our tail. I was scared and not much older than you, Kieran when it happened. Zane was a little younger than Theo and Norman are now. But it was as if I’d been training for that exact moment all my life. To be their protector.
“And I was, for a number of years. But I got it wrong. My idea of protecting my brothers was to hide them away and, in doing so, they were not living life but more like just existing. But after Colton and Cody pointed out to me that I was protecting them to the point they were now in a cell that I’d made for them, I realized my need to protect you and your need to live your life have to work together. I don’t want to make that mistake again with you or my brothers.
“This morning, I took the first step to make sure you have the freedom you nearly died to get. I supported your desire to go to Scotland. And I promise you I will always support your decisions about your choice of what you want to do with your life.”
“Massacre? What massacre?” asked Kieran.
“Why was your family killed?” asked Theo.
“Holy shit! Why didn’t you tell us this?” asked Norman. “Ki, we need to do something to help them. What should we do?”
“Let me think…I know,” said Kieran, rushing to Jackson and wrapping his arms around his waist. “Here, this will make you feel better.”
Jackson was stunned. He looked down at Kieran’s head against his chest.What happened? Ki is comforting me? Oh, my gods!He slowly lifted his arms and returnedKieran’s hug. Jackson felt warmth radiate out from Kieran’s hands on his back suffusing his whole body with a comforting emotion.Holy shit! How did he do that?Jackson stood there and for the first time since he’d found out about the death of his parents, he felt at peace and felt the heavy burden of the grief he’d been carrying in his heart lighten. A minute, two or maybe five, Jackson didn’t know but he never wanted Kieran to let go of him. Finally, Kieran stepped back and looked up at him, and as Jackson stared into his eyes, he saw the spirit Kieran had talked about earlier.
“Do you feel better, Alpha?” asked Kieran.
“Yes, I do, very much so. Thank you, Ki,” Jackson replied. Then he looked at Theo and Norman. “We can talk about why they were killed later, but for now, I really want to focus on how I can help you move forward, if that’s okay.”
Ki could see Theo and Norman were using their mind link to sort out what they wanted to say, but he knew what he needed to say, so after they were finished, Ki said, “Alpha, sometimes I want to forget what happened to me at Arald’s. I mean, I know it will always be part of me, but I don’t want to dwell on it. It’s in the past and I can’t do anything to change what happened. But Icanfocus on today and tomorrow and the next day, if you catch my drift. But when you, or Cody or any of your other brothers talk about me as if I’m not right in front of you, or as if I’m a child, everything that had been taken from me during those years comes rushing back. Then I have to start all over again and push those memories down…not for forever…but until I want to deal with them.
“Right now, I want a break from those memories. I want to plan my future, I want to travel, I want to see what theFates have in store for me. I’m not stupid. I know that until I deal with the emotional consequences from Arald’s treatment of me, I won’t ever be free, really free to move on with my life, but now…now I need a break. And when you asked Cody if he minded if Lizzie went with us or Colton ‘teasingly’ asked Cody if he should assign me to Logan so I could teach him about design, it brought all those memories back to me in a heartbeat. You and Colton made me feel like a slave again.”
Jackson felt a tear slowly leak from his eye as he listened to Kieran. He understood and could see how his actions—innocent as they were—hurt Kieran. “Thank you, Ki,” Jackson said. “You are right. I took away your dignity by ignoring you. It will never happen again, I promise. This is also something I have to explain to my brothers and, if you are in agreement, I will do it at a pack meeting.”
“Before we agree to that, Norman, are you going to speak for Theo too?” asked Kieran.
“Yes. I’ll second everything Ki said, but for Theo and me, there’s more. I know we look weak and young. But we aren’t…well maybe younger than Ki…but we went through hell. All our rights were taken from us and we were treated like shit. But with Ki’s help we made it through. And now we’re adults according to shifter law, so please treat us as such. Theo and I don’t expect you to approve all our decisions, but we want to know that you’ll support us. We want to feel that you respect us enough to make the right decisions. That’s not to say you can’t offer your opinion or suggestions, but we need to know you trust us. And right now, Theo and I don’t feel that.”
Jackson studied Norman and then shifted his gaze to Theo. “I have failed you in that I owe you my trust andrespect as members of the Blackwood Pack. Again, I’m sorry. I was stuck on what happened to you at fifteen and treated you as if you were still that age. I promise I won’t do that again. You are adults and Iwillrespect your right to make your own decisions. I don’t know everything that was done to you…any of you…but from what I do know I think all of you are some of the strongest men I know. My position on your rights to make your own decisions will also be made clear at the pack meeting.”
Ki spoke. “Alpha, thanks for clarifying your position but what about Cody? We owe him our lives for rescuing us, but that doesn’t give him ownership rights over us. He treated us as children in your office, apologized and then did it again minutes later. How’s this going to work if it keeps happening?”
“Jackson, may I speak?” asked Dylon.
“Yes, I think this is something you can clarify.”
“Did you ever wonder how Cody and I found out about you being there in the first place?”
Kieran looked at Theo and Norman before they all shook their heads.
“Cody has the ability of foresight, and for the last year, he had visions of you, Kieran, getting beaten, whipped and whatever else Arald did to you. But Cody not only saw what was being done to you, he also felt every slap, punch, stroke of the whip and anything else that was done to cause you pain. He suffered the effects many times during the year when you were in his visions. For every single stroke of the whip you felt, Cody felt it a hundred times or more. You know what you suffered but imagine feeling it repeatedly…hundreds of times. When I met him, he was days away from shifting permanently just so hecould rid himself of the pain he felt every time he relived a vision.”
“No-o-o-o, I never wanted anyone to suffer for me,” Kieran cried out.
