Prologue
Peyton
SITTING ON THE frontporch of the small house my parents bought me when I got married, I take a sip of my coffee and watch the world around me.Kids playing in their yards, teenagers gossiping together in small groups, adults playing with their children, and the world moving while I sit and watch as normal.I’ve always been in the background of everything around me and watched while others lived their lives and I kind of muddled my way through mine.The only time I ever interact with others is when I was tutoring them in school and when I’m at work.I never liked being the center of attention and would remain in the background.There was only ever one person who made me get in the spotlight and that was Matt.
Matt was popular in high school.The star football player, popular, always with a large group of friends every second of the day.He didn’t just hang out with the kids from the Dirty Slayers MC like some of the other kids growing up at the clubhouse.Matt was friends with everyone and always seemed to be in the center of everything going on.The time I spent tutoring him forced me out of the shadows and into the spotlight.I absolutely hated it and Matt did nothing to put an end to it.I remember why he told me he forced me to be around others.
Walking into the library, the first thing I notice is Matt sitting at a table surrounded by girls and some of the other football players.They’re loud, creating chaos as normal, and being the center of everyone’s attention.They always command everyone to look at them when they’re around.Walking over to them, I don’t stop at the table because that would put eyes on me.Instead, I bypass the table completely and head to the room where I tutor students.
“Tutor, where ya goin’?”Matt calls out much louder than he needs to as I feel dozens of eyes shifting to me.
I don’t respond to Matt and continue walking into the study room where I’ll be working with my students for the day.Closing the door behind me, I take a seat at the table and pull out everything I’ll need for Matt and my own work.If he chooses to come in for his session, I’ll be ready.Otherwise, I’ll work on my own homework and get it done before heading home for the day.
It doesn’t take long for Matt to enter the study room.He struts in as if he owns the place and pulls out the chair next to me.Sitting down, he spreads his body out as much as possible and takes up as much room as possible.Looking over at the guy I’ve crushed on for the last four years, I take in his dirty blonde hair all messed up like one of those girls ran their hands through it repeatedly.His clothes are the latest style and I know he’s got the best cell phone in his pocket and the jewelry he wears is expensive as hell.The guy doesn’t know how to be subtle or in the background of any situation.
“Why didn’t you stop when I called your name?”Matt asks me, his voice quieter than when he was surrounded by others.
“I don’t like to be the center of attention and you know that.Why would I stop to talk with you when I have more important things to do?”I return, looking back at the homework in front of me.
“Tutor, you don’t have to stay in the background every single day.You’re not some delicate wallflower and deserve to shine as bright as everyone else.No one in this school is better than you are, Peyton.I’m gonna put you in the spotlight one of these days and you won’t shrink back from it,” Matt says, a smirk on his face as he continues to stare at me.
“Not happening Mr.Popular.The spotlight is where you belong while I belong in the shadows.Are you ready to work?”I ask, needing to get things back on track and away from the nonsense Matt is spewing right now.
“Ready when you are, Tutor,” Matt says, sitting up at the table and pulling out what he needs to work on today.
Hearing a car pull into my driveway, I push away thoughts of my past with Matt away and look to see my sister, Jennifer pulling in with a large smile on her face.I can’t help but smile in return because my sister is one of the happiest people I’ve ever met in my life and reminds me so much of Matt when he was younger.It’s been so long since I’ve seen the man up close and spent any time with him.Matt graduated and I still had two years of high school after.From what I understand, he joined the Dirty Slayers his senior year of high school and after his year was up, he not only became a full patch member, but he took over for his dad as the Vice President of the club.The only reason I know that is because it was all over town after the huge celebration the club threw for him.
“Jen, what are you doing here today?”I ask as my sister gets out of her car and I look to see if my nephew is with her.
“Kicking you out of the house.Clark died a year ago and you haven’t been out of the house in nearly as long.I know you loved your husband, but he was no good for you, Peyton.The man used you, made you work insane hours while he took your money and then he forced you to cut your hours at work to raise the kids.Now, I love my niece and nephew, but it’s time for you to live your damn life again.You’re not even thirty years old yet.Our grandma gets out more often than you do,” Jen says, walking up on the porch and taking the seat next to me as she looks out at the world surrounding us.
“Jennifer, I’m not ready to get out like that.Clark was a good man deep down.He loved me and took care of our kids when he was alive.If he hadn’t been working so hard, he never would have stayed late that night at work.The pile-up on the interstate wouldn’t have happened and he’d still be here with us today.If anything, the accident is my fault and I’m the reason he’s no longer alive.Besides, why should I get to go out and have fun when he’s buried and gone?”I ask my sister as she turns to look at me with a serious face.
“You deserve to live your life for you and not just the kids, Peyton.You’ve always done everything for Cedric and Caydence.They worship the ground you walk on and are the best kids I’ve ever met in my life.My own son is standing right up there with them.It’s time for you to put yourself first.Get in the spotlight like Matt wanted you to do back in high school.Tonight, you’re going out and I’m staying here with the kids.Barb and Richard are waiting for you at Down ‘n Dirty,” Jennifer states before standing from her seat and pushing me inside the house as she follows behind.
***
Walking up to the bar, I know the Dirty Slayers MC members are here in full tonight.Their bikes are lined up out front of the bar and I know they happen to own this place.There truly isn’t a night some of them aren’t here.Pausing at the front door of the bar, I take a deep breath and hold it for a second before releasing it slowly.Stepping inside, the first thing I notice is how clean the place is.There’s a hint of the smell of alcohol and cleaning products, but that’s it.Music plays in the bar, but it’s not so loud customers can’t have conversations with one another.My eyes scan the bar until they land on a table at the back of the main room.There sit the members of the club and one set of eyes are on me—Matt.
The man has changed so much since high school.He now wears his hair longer on top with the sides and back shaved, he’s got a beard that’s neatly trimmed, and a nose piercing.His arms are covered in tattoos and he’s added more muscle to his body than ever before.If I thought I had a crush on the man in high school, it’s nothing compared to what I feel now.The man is sexy as fuck and has the ability to make a woman lose her damn mind.I quickly turn my attention away from the man and try to find my best friends.
I met Barb in high school when she transferred in after losing her parents and moving in with her grandparents.We bonded as we both hid in the shadows of high school and remained as invisible as possible.She married Richard shortly after they met in college.They unfortunately don’t have children of their own despite them trying every way possible to have a child of their own.They spend most of their free time with my children and dote on them every single day in one way or another.
Finally spotting my best friends at the end of the bar, I give them a small wave before weaving my way through the crowd and joining them.Barb stands up when I get to her and pulls me in for one of her tight hugs that make you feel safe and loved.She always knows exactly what I need and I have no doubt in my mind she conspired with my sister to get me out of the house tonight.When I pull back from her, I’m shaking my head and Richard starts laughing his ass off.
“Took you less than a few seconds to figure it out.Barb and Jennifer conspired to get you out tonight.Knew the club would be here in full force and wanted you to see Matt,” Richard states, still laughing as the bartender makes his way over to me.
“Can I have a beer, please?Well, I didn’t know the club would be here tonight.I just figured the two of them worked together to get me out of the house,” I answer Richard as I take my seat and wait for my drink.
“Never thought I’d see you step through the door of the club’s bar, Tutor?”I hear from behind me and know immediately it’s Matt.
I turn around in my seat to face the man who I’ve had a secret crush on for half of my life.Even when I was married to Clark.Looking up high since Carbon is so much taller than I am even sitting on the bar stool.He’s still got that cocky as hell smirk on his face because he knows every woman in this bar wants to fuck him and he wouldn’t be wrong about that.
“Can I not be here, Matt?”I return, my voice coming out weak instead of strong as I want it to be.
“You can be wherever you want, Tutor.Told you I was gonna get you in the spotlight and it looks like tonight is that night,” he says, sitting next to me after giving the man on the stool a look to make him abandon his seat.
“I’m not in the spotlight, Matt.I’m sitting at a bar with my friends and you happened to walk over to us,” I respond, my voice just loud enough to be heard over the music.
