Chapter 56
Mattias
Sliding one arm beneath her knees and the other around her middle, I pull her into my arms, then carry her to her desk chair where I sit with her in my lap. I don’t know how long we sit like that. She’s boneless, her face tucked against my neck, and at some point I lay my cheek atop her head. Under any other circumstance, I’d be utterly disgusted to be sitting naked in an old, grimy office like this, but right now there’s no place I would rather be. I’m shocked by how well we fit together, like two worn puzzle pieces with frayed edges that fit together all the same. After what must be at least an hour, I lift my wrist and reluctantly glance at my watch.
Fyfan. It’s already nine in the evening. I don’t want this moment to end, but there are better places to spend the night.
“Freddie.” I squeeze her shoulder with the hand that’s slung around her. She sighs but doesn’t move. A small laugh escapes me. “You’re like a cat, you know.”
“Just a little longer,” she murmurs.
I want to tell her no, but my body relaxes anyway. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to just sit here all night. I hum, breathing in her scent of lemon and something sweet.
Holding her like this scares me to death. I’m still angry with her, but I’m also in awe. I know I’m not the only one she’s done this for, but still. Nobody has ever put themselves on the line like this for me. Nobody has ever gone to such lengths to show that they care—that they’ll fight for me.
It’s frightening, to make room in my life for something else than what I’ve known. To let her knowme. All my life, I’ve been careening towards one goal, never allowing myself to stop for anything else. Nothing else has ever mattered. I’m not good at staying still, but with her, I wonder if maybe I could be.
“Mattias.” Her voice is a whisper in my ear. She shakes me gently and I blink awake, startled for a second before I remember where I am, still in her office chair. It’s still dark in the rink, aside from the ghost light. It must be late.
I glance at my watch again. Now it’s one in the morning. I’m supposed to be back here for morning skate in six hours, not that I’m skating—and for the first time in my life, I’m not bothered by that. It’s almost thrilling.
I turn back to her, and she’s staring at me with a shadowed, hungry expression, her face dimly illuminated.
“Not here,” I say with a grin, sitting up and tucking a wave of hair behind her ear. “Will you let me take you home?”
“Conditionally,” she replies. I shake my head, even as I feel myself stiffen. I push myself to my feet, lifting her into the air and kissing her once on the mouth before setting her down.
“We should leave before Coach Marshall shows up,” I say as we get dressed. I help her back into her gown, tying the halter at the neck.
“It’s the middle of the night,” she says over her shoulder.
I cast her a dark look as I lead her out of the office. “Oh, you don’t know, then.”
“Know what?”
She’s so fucking cute when she’s confused, I have half a mind to leave her hanging. Her laugh is more rewarding, though, so I tell her. “Ines told a few of the guys the cleaning crew has caught Coach Marshall showering here in the middle of the night a few times. He usually shows up around three in the morning.”
“What the fuck?” she says as we head down the rink stairs, into the parking lot where my car waits.
“Apparently he likes to take some time to himself to wake up and smell the ice before morning skate.”
She bursts out laughing as I open the door for her, and the sound of it is music to my ears.
“You hockey players have some weird rituals. What’s yours? Wearing your underwear inside-out?” she asks as I take my seat and turn on the heater.
“Sometimes I don’t wear socks when I skate,” I reply honestly.
The look she gives me is pure disgust, and it tugs the corners of my mouth upwards.
“You’re not serious,” she says flatly as I engage the clutch and start the engine.
“I am,” I return.
“That’s vile.”
“I feel the ice better that way.”
“Oh, come on. That’s bullshit.”
