He nodded, rubbing Isla’s back and bouncing her lightly. “Yeah. Ear infection. Poor kid didn’t make a fuss until she was throwing up and had a high fever. I had no clue her ears were bothering her.”
“Poor baby,” I cooed, moving to join him and brushing her messy curls away from her face.
While I was close, he leaned in to whisper, “I actually called you here for Jasper. He was really freaked out when she started throwing up. He looks pale to me. I’ve tried talking to him, but he just yells at me to focus on Isla. Can you talk to him? He trusts you.”
Glancing around, I frowned. I’d been so focused on Isla, I hadn’t noticed Jasper was missing. “Where is he?”
“Waiting room.” Elias winced. “I felt bad kicking him out, but he was screaming at the nurses because they didn’t have an instant cure for her. I couldn’t hear the doctor with both of them screaming like that.”
I couldn’t blame him for that. Isla was fussy now, but from the tear tracks on her face and the redness around her eyes, Isla had been crying hard for a while. With her and Jasper both, I didn’t think I’d be any better trying to comprehend what the doctor was saying to me.
Squeezing Elias’s arm reassuringly, I murmured, “I’ll go talk to him. Have you tried singing to her? Babies like music. It might help.”
He looked between me and Isla, making a face. “Even if I can’t hold a tune to save my life?”
I couldn’t help but snicker. “Maybe not. Just remember to breathe. She can feel it when you’re stressed out. When you relax, she will too.”
I didn’t tell Elias about what happened on my way here. Now wasn’t the time. He was overwhelmed as it was, and I didn’t want to worry him. Once things settled a little, I’d tellhim. I felt like it was important for him to know. Whether they were coming for me specifically or just causing trouble, Elias’s crew needed to know how things were escalating so they could prepare themselves.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
JASPER
“It’s your job to protect her, Jasper. You’re her big brother.”
“She loves you so much. You’re such a good brother, JJ.”
“We’re so proud of you. We couldn’t have asked for a better big brother for Isla. We’re so glad we can trust you to take care of her.”
My moms’ words flashed through my head. I scrunched my eyes closed in an attempt to block it out. I didn’t deserve to hear it. They were wrong. I wasn’t a good brother. I didn’t notice until she was already throwing up that she was sick. I was going to lose her too because I didn’t protect her well enough. Just like I didn’t protect them. If I had, they wouldn’t have gotten in that car.
“Jasper?”
Ms. Brooks’s voice sounded distant, and I couldn’t make myself look at her. When I opened my eyes, I stared hard at the picture on my phone, the one I’d taken myself and Mama had gotten printed to put in the living room. We were on the couch, getting ready to watch a movie, Mom holding the popcorn bowlaway from Isla while Mama tried to distract her with a bottle. I was munching on a handful of popcorn in the corner of the picture, taking a selfie of the chaos to send to my uncle. It hurt knowing it was only a few days after this that they…
“Is she okay?” I croaked out.
“She’ll be okay.”
I shot her a look, silently demanding more, and she explained, “It’s just an ear infection. Some antibiotics, some over-the-counter pain medicine, and she’ll be all better before you know it.”
An ear infection. That was it. That wasn’t that bad, right?
Teachers had a crazy ability to read minds or something because Ms. Brooks’s hand settled on my arm, and she waited until I looked at her to say, “It’s the best case scenario, and easily treated. She’ll be okay.”
My chest tightened painfully and it felt impossible to breathe. Tears burned my eyes and the hand holding my phone shook so much, I almost dropped it. Ms. Brooks had to take it away, her warm hands squeezing mine as she coached me to breathe.
“It’s okay, Jasper. You’re okay. Just breathe.”
I shook my head rapidly. She didn’t get it. None of them did. It was my job to protect her. I should’ve known. If I’d been paying attention, I would’ve noticed sooner. She wouldn’t have gotten sick. I promised I’d protect her.
My head started to swim. I couldn’t breathe. Why couldn’t I breathe? How could I protect Isla if I couldn’t even breathe right?
Ms. Brook’s expression tightened and when she let go of my hands to get help, it felt like I was going to lose it completely. I reached for her, and when she pulled me into a hug, I didn't fight it. I broke.
I promised I’d protect her.
I failed.
