“Now if you fancy screaming the house to crumbs and bringing in everyone and their cousin’s priest, then be my guesthouse, but I be warning yer that they will nay see anything but a crazy woman sat on a privy talking to herself,” the goblinsaid, making my eyes go wide and giving me the time to take in more of his weird features.
He had big ears that stuck out into points and looked way too big for his head. The tops of which were dusted with rusted red skin. Big eyes with tiny black dots had a ring of yellow and were at the center of a pool of milky white. Darker skin surrounded them and sagged with fine wrinkles. His nose matched his ears, as it was wide, long and pointed, and also dusted with the same red hue.
The skin around his puckered lips had too many lines to count and was the most wrinkled part about him. I could also see the row of pointed teeth beyond the stretched tight skin of his lips that made me want to recoil whenever I saw them as he spoke. He was mostly bald, and the top of his head was the only stretch of skin that wasn’t covered in lines. However, it did have a few strands of hair, and enough where I could have easily counted them.
As for his body, this was as I would have suspected a goblin to look. It was little, with a rounded protruding belly, and skinny, bony limbs that looked too long for his short little torso. Thankfully, he wasn’t naked, or that would have been even weirder if I could have seen his little demonic twinkie had been dangling between his legs. No, much to my relief, he was wearing a sort of black leather toga that was jagged at the hem and reached his knees.
As for what he had just said to me, I only understood half of it, as it was like he was speaking in some weird old English accent that was as far from sounding posh as you could get!
“Now if I be moving my hand, will yer stop yer shrieking?”
I found myself nodding quickly, as the fact that he was still touching me was only freaking me out more. Besides, what if he was right, what if I started screaming and everyone came rushing in here and couldn’t see him? They would only think Iwas insane, and we all knew how that tragic story went. Padded walls and a straitjacket, that was where.
“W-wh… what are you?” I stammered out, making the little goblin dude jump off me and, thankfully, give me some space, despite there only being so much room in the cubicle.
“I’m Boruta.”
“You’re a Borota?”
At this, he frowned, an expression that only managed to create so many more wrinkles and lines to appear on his face, and just when I didn’t think it possible there would be any room for more.
“No, no, I said I’m Boruta.”
“Yes, I know you did, you’re a Boratta,” I repeated, no doubt saying it wrong once again.
At this point, I was also wondering if I should scream, after all, and get myself sent to the nut house, because spending a life drugged up to my eyeballs could be safer if it meant wiping the image of this little goblin from my mind.
“My nameis Boruta,” he said, and this time in a way like he was dealing with a dolthead, making me wonder if, right in this moment, I was letting down the human race.
“Oh… okay, so you’re a goblin then,” I stated, making him baulk at me.
His head, one far too big for the rest of his body’s proportions, jerked back as if shocked by what I just said.
“I am not!” he declared haughtily. He even stomped his big, hairy foot that also seemed far too big for the rest of his body, especially his skinny little legs.
“Oookaaay… then what are you?” I asked cautiously.
“I am one of the Kobalos,” he declared, spreading his little legs apart and making a stance like Superman. It was actually comical enough that I had to suppress a giggle.
“Is that like Greek or something?” I asked, thinking it sounded like some dessert I had once in that Greek Restaurant Sabrina and I took our mom to when celebrating her birthday. Oh no, wait, that was Kataifi. Mmm, now all I could think about was those messy little pastries soaked in sweet syrup with the nutty centers. Well, that was until Boroto or whatever his name was, clicked his fingers in front of my face.
“Focus, girly!” he snapped.
“So, it's Greek for Goblin.”
“Yes… wait, what? No… look, that’s not important,” he said, shaking his head.
“No, I guess not. Well, it was nice to meet you and all, but it’s time for you to get back to wherever it is you came from,” I said, getting up from the toilet and realizing the ‘not Goblin’ only came up to my hips in height, and I wasn’t exactly tall. Come to think of it, he was far less intimidating when I was standing. Which meant I didn’t think twice about barging past him and opening the door to, thankfully, find the bathroom empty.
“I think yer will find, girly, that I ain’t going nowhere,” he stated, after first swinging himself up onto the counter by the sinks, and I couldn’t help but be impressed by how agile he was for such a little guy.
I started to wash my hands, for no reason, as I hadn’t even used the toilet, but I seemed to be on autopilot. Then he began to swing his feet in the basin, making me want to gag at the length of those yellow, jagged nails at the end of his fat toes. Toes that he was now dancing in the water before he tried to stuff his big toe up in the tap.
“Eww… quit that… Look, if you wanna make Earth your new home, then go for it, but you will be doing it without me and…”
“Eliza?” I heard Tara’s voice from outside the door.
“Shit! My meeting… coming, just… just… hold on,” I shouted, panicked, and then started to try and do up the zip at my side,jumping around and making the little goblin sigh before he was batting my hands out the way and hissing,
