Sighing, she gently released Nyla from her breast and lifted her to burp, her gaze drifting somewhere far beyond the room.
“What is it, ma?” Crown asked.
Nivéa sat in silence for a moment, gathering her thoughts so they wouldn’t come out wrong. She couldn’t care less about Boe’s fate. But she did feel quite disappointed that he hadn’t managed to do one decent thing for his daughter.
“I just hate that it had to be like that. Not for me, but for Ny’s sake. What am I supposed to tell her when she gets older and starts asking about her father? I don’t have any good memories to give her. And I’m not about to lie and make any up either.” Her voice thinned slightly.
“At the very least, he could’ve been a good father. I just… I don’t understand how someone can have kids and live like they don’t exist. Having Ny changed my whole perspective on life. I move differently.”
“I feel that.” Crown nodded. “But tell her the truth. That he’s no longer around, and even when he was, he was a sorry-ass nigga. She’s better off without him.”
Nivéa snickered at his rawness, but Crown didn’t crack a smile. He meant every word.
“I got y’all. I promise you that him missing from her life won’t matter, ‘cause I’m gon’ take care of her like she’s mine.”
“I believe you. Don’t mind me, baby. I overthink sometimes. Bad habit. But just know I appreciate everything you’ve done for us, even when I might not have deserved it.”
Crown’s brows furrowed. “What you mean by that?”
Nivéa shrugged. “I left your side during a rough time. You had just lost Mo, someone very close to you. I was mad and so scared. But I probably shouldn’t have handled it like that. I’m really sorry. I promise that’s not who I am.”
“Nah,” Crown interrupted.
“Don’t ever apologize for choosing what’s best for you and her, even if that means stepping away from me. I wasn’t fully honest with you, so I couldn’t be upset when you found out the whole truth and walked away. That was on me. I know your character. You a good woman trying to make better decisions in your life. I respect it, even when it hurts, ma.”
“God, why are you so perfect?”
“I’m not, but you already know that.”
“But I still love you anyway.”
Crown smirked, feeling that in his chest. How did he get here, and so soon? He still didn’t fully understand it, but he loved it.
“What time are you going to your office?” Nivéa asked, changing the subject. She was trying to see how much time she could get out of him that day.
“I’m not. I took off to handle this shit I need to deal with. After that, I’ll come back home, and I’m all yours.”
“Really?” She asked, surprised. Since she met him, he had always been such a busy man.
“Yeah, we can do whatever you want.”
“Okay, I’ll get some work done until then. I have these concepts stuck in my head that I think will be so dope. I just gotta figure out how to bring them to life. It takes forever.”
“What’s your process when you freestyle?” Crown asked her.
“Canva and Adobe are my best friends. I literally build layer by layer, word by word. It would be great if I could draw. It wouldn’t take me forever to put everything together. I could just sketch what’s in my head.”
“Yo’ man can draw.”
She eyed him, snickering.
“I ain’t playin’. Tell me what’s in your head, and I’ll sketch it for you.”
“I couldn’t ask you to do that. You already do enough, baby.”
“You don’t have to ask. If I spot you have a need, I’m gon’ figure out how to take care of it.”
“Okay, let me sit with the idea some more, and I’ll let you know.”
