“Ouch!” I joke as I take a seat at her counter.
“I told you when you and Adam were younger. Save your sass ass for your parents because I sure as hell wouldn’t tolerate it.”
I roll my eyes as I shake my head. Same woman, no matter how much time has passed.
“Why do you smell like a liquor store?” She finally notices the scent of alcohol on me.
“I came back to sell the house…”
I watch her lips move in a silent prayer for Adam, Angelina, and Lumina's souls up in heaven before she wipes a tear from her eye.
“Have you been there yet?” she asks.
“No…I went to Badlands.”
That earns me another swat to the back of the head.
“That place is no good nowadays. Well, it’s never been good, but at least when Jocko ran it, the riff raff behaved. Now his no-good son Declan runs the joint. Practically runs the whole town. Horrible child he was…Still is.”
“I didn’t know Jocko had a kid.”
“No one did until the kid’s mom died…It was the year you disappeared. He showed up on Jocko’s doorstep with nothing but a note and his backpack. That boy always had a mean streak to him.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
“Why are you selling it?” she asks after a few minutes of complete silence.
I take a slow, deep breath. It’s the question I asked myself on the entire ride back here. Why? Why now?
“Sometimes you have to let go of the lifeline to finally start living. Adam was my best friend. That house was the last piece I had of him…It’s been almost twenty years, Dia. Twenty long, painful years of holding onto that lifeline. Keeping it wrapped around you so tightly. The rope burns into your flesh from the tension.” I stand, brushing the stray crumbs from my jacket. “It’s time I cut the line. I won’t ever forget my best friend, but I need to stop living with the ghosts of my past clinging to my soul. I need to start living.”
She looks up at me with more tears in her eyes.
“I always loved you boys like you were my own. It nearly killed me going to their funeral.”
I swallow to choke back the tears burning in my eyes. I didn’t go to the funeral. I never said goodbye. I ran. Avoided everything from my past until the day I got the letter saying Adam had left me the house. I kept it. Occasionally, I hired someone to go in and clean it. But I never went back. This is the first time in twenty years that I’ve even stepped foot in Texas. I moved to Vegas and never looked back.
“You should go visit them before you leave,” she whispers.
“I don’t know if I can do that, Dia,” I whisper. She cradles my cheek and looks at me with those kind eyes like she always has before.
“Well, you know where to find me if you want a quiet soul to go with ya.”
“Quiet soul?” I raise my eyebrow as I smirk at her.
“Boy, don’t make me beat you. Now get outta here. I need to make another dozen loaves now because of you.”
I pull her in for another hug. Now that I’m older, she feels so much smaller compared to me. Funny how she used to be the one to hold and comfort me. Especially on the days my mother was too drunk to even remember she had a kid.
“Thank you, Dia…For everything. I don’t think I would have made it if it weren’t for your help. I love ya.”
When I pull away, her tears have fallen. She franticallywipes at them with her apron before shooing me out the door.
“You better come back and say goodbye this time, you hear?”
“Yes, Ma'am.”
I continue down the way I came. Back towards Badlands, back toward the cemetery that I drove past on the way in. The one I know that the Warners are buried in.
