My eyes narrow as I try to figure out what that’s supposed to mean. “Well, plenty of women get beaten up by their significant others, and those women don’t go on killing their partners.”
“And plenty of abusers don’t wind up dead, but yours did.” He crosses his arms over his chest.
My jaw drops a fraction. He isn’t wrong. I don’t have a response. All I manage is one question. “Will you defend me or not?”
Leaning forward, he rests his elbows on the table. “My law firm isn’t cheap. I think our receptionist told you the retainer. It only goes up from there. Especially if we go to trial. Which I’m guessing we will. I just want to make sure you’re prepared for that.”
I press my lips together, wincing from the slight twinge of pain from my split lip. The condescending way this man is talking to me is making anger flare across my skin. It tries to pull me back into a place I worked years to get out of. Not to mention, his assumption that I’ll be arrested and go to trial. He could at least pretend I’m not about to be, for my sake.
Taking a breath, I shake my head. “Mr. Fuller, I think we’re done here.”
William’s lips part in surprise.
I don’t give him a chance to say anything. “I apologize for wasting your time. Unfortunately, you’re not the right person to represent me.”
He snaps his mouth shut and clears his throat. “I would’ve been happy to help you, Lily. Hopefully, you can find someone who better fits your needs.” William stands. “Or you can always get a public defender. Best of luck to you.”
When he turns away from me, I let some of the emotion bubbling slip to the surface now that he isn’t looking at me. I press my fingers to my trembling lips. He doesn’t bother turning around when he pulls the door open and steps back into the hall, leaving me alone.
It isn’t until the door clicks closed that a tear slips down my cheek.
I’m scared. I’ve tried so hard to be brave because that’s what I’ve been doing for years. But right now, in this cold, grey room I sit in, alone, I don’t want to be brave for just a few minutes. I want to allow myself a moment of weakness.
But I can’t because it’s then that the door opens again, and Barrington and the older detective from earlier enter. I hate that Martinez isn’t with them.
Just as I have so many times before, I shove my emotions down within me and tell them, “I would like a public defender, please.”
At least this will allow me some time to find a different defense attorney. One whom I can trust won’t prosecute me before I’m even charged.
4
Chris
“So are you just going to let her get a public defender?” Carlos asks from beside where I stand with my arms crossed, my glare melting a hole through the two-sided mirror.
My muscles are so tense, I’m shocked I haven’t crumbled like I’m made of stone. That fucking tear on her bruised cheek makes me angry. So angry that I have the intense urge to slam my fist into the glass inches in front of me.
But I don’t. Because that isn’t what respectable people do.
And yet, the urge still simmers.
Barrington is gripping her arm as he hauls her out of the chair. They’ll take her back to the holding cell until they can arrange for a public defender to get down here. She hasn’t been officially charged yet, but I have no doubt it’s only a matter of time, even if it isn’t today. Barrington and Wilcoxhave made up their minds that she did it, and don’t give any indication that they plan to look anywhere else.
Not she. Lily. That’s her name. Lily Elizabeth Bennett. Maiden name French. Thirty-seven years old. Five feet seven inches tall. Curvy and hot as fuck.
Most of that I got from a printout of the driver’s license database that Carlos handed me when I arrived, but that last part I got with my own two eyes. And maybe my dick.
I suck in a sharp inhale before turning to my friend, now that Lily is out of the room. “I don’t know what the fuck I’m going to do.”
Carlos nods. “I get it. This won’t be an easy one.” He slams a fist into his other palm. “But going off everything I know about her husband, there’s no way she was the only one who wanted him dead.” He stares through the mirrored window to where Lily sat moments ago before looking back at me with a shrug. “In my opinion, she’d be the only one with agoodreason to do it.”
Following where his gaze just was, I stare at the now-empty chair. I agree that she’d certainly have a good self-defense claim. Her face looks bad, and if what Carlos tells me is correct, that isn’t all her injuries. And there’s no telling what all happened to her over the years.
Looking back at Carlos, I slap him on the shoulder and walk toward the door. “I need some fresh air. I’ll call you in a bit. If the public defender shows up, call me immediately.”
I don’t wait for him to agree before stalking off down the hall, through the lobby, and out the door. I walk out into the parking lot and look around until I see a small park about half a block away. Heading in that direction, I shove my hands into the pockets of my slacks.
I’m sure I look ridiculous, walking laps in the city park in a very expensive suit. But I need to move. I need somefresh air. A few years ago, I never really understood the people who said fresh air helped clear their heads. Then my life went to shit, and I started embracing that adage. Usually, I go to a lake nearby to sit and stare at the water, but this will have to do.
