“Where’s the skillet?”
My eyes close again as my heart breaks. I know where this is leading. I’m going to tell Chris this, and he’s going to do the right thing and turn this information in to the police. Which is exactly what he should do. But that doesn’t mean it hurts any less.
“Lily…” Chris’s voice hits my ears as his fingertips gently grip my chin. My eyes open, and what greets me isn’t what I expect. My sob catches in my throat as his thumb runs over my cheek. “Baby, please. It’s going to be okay. But I need to know what you did with the skillet.”
I sniff, then tell him, “There’s this compartment hidden in the wine cellar. It must have been something from the previous owners. But it’s very hard to find if you don’t know about it. I just happened to come across it by accident years ago. I kept a lot of things in there that I wanted to hide from Blake. And I know he never knew about it because if he had found them, he would’ve wasted no time in punishing me.”
Chris stares out at the trees for a few moments before looking back at me. “So no one knows about it but you?”
“Just me.”
He cups my cheek, his eyes searching mine. “Lily, I’m so sorry you had to do that. You deserved so much better.”
“Do you hate me now?” I ask shakily.
With a sympathetic smile, he says, “It’s going to take a lot more than that to make me hate you.”
Shock and confusion compress my heart as I stare into his eyes, looking for the lie. But all I see is the man who showed me what it really feels like to be cared about.
“What are we going to do?” I’m uneasy about hearing his answer, but I need to know.
He presses his lips to my forehead. “Well, today, we’re going to try to forget about all of this and enjoy our last dayin Gatlinburg. Then, we’ll go back to Nashville and figure out how to get past this.”
With a quick kiss to my lips, Chris leads me back to our bedroom and into the shower. We let the hot water wash away our traumas and our sins. At least for today, anyway.
26
Chris
Iflip off the light in the bathroom and step into the master bedroom. Lily’s sitting cross-legged on the bed. She’s wearing one of my T-shirts, her damp hair hanging loose over her shoulders. I’m still reeling from what she told me. Not because it changes anything, but mostly because it scares me about what could happen to her.
She’s watching me with guarded eyes as I cross the room and join her on the bed. I lay back on the pillows and pat the spot next to me.
“Come here, Lily.”
She crawls the few feet to me and slides under the messy, unmade covers, even though I’m on top of them. “My legs are cold,” she says quietly as she tucks into my side with her head on my shoulder.
Resting my cheek on the top of her head, I murmur, “Tell me what’s going on inside that head of yours.”
Halfway through our shower, I could tell there was a shift in her demeanor. She was shutting down right in front of me. I wanted to press her about it, but decided to wait until we were out of the shower to do it. Instead, I took my time washing every inch of her, whispering every adoring word I could think of.
She sniffles, and I hug her tighter. “I can’t stop thinking about what you must think of me. I know you said this doesn’t change anything, but how can it not? How can you ever look at me the same? Especially after what you told me about Tom. Not to mention, the fact you’re an attorney. Someone who’s supposed to help uphold the law.”
My fingers trail up and down her back as I contemplate her question. I understand where she’s coming from and why she’d wonder that. I know I need to find a way to explain it that leaves no doubt in her mind.
“You’re right. This does change things.” Her body stiffens against me. I kiss the top of her head to reassure her before continuing. “But not in the way you think.”
She wraps an arm around me, hugging me back.
“I’ve never admitted this to anyone, but when everything went down with Tom, I went through a very dark time. I contemplated doing things that most people would be appalled by.” Mandi doesn’t even know the depravity of my thoughts when I was in the depths of my depression. Drunk and bitterly angry are never a good mix.
“Have you killed someone?” she asks, sounding pained.
Sighing, I admit, “No, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t think about it. Monica was one of the kindest people I’ve ever met. I couldn’t even imagine a world where anyone would hate her enough that they’d want to kill her. And there was no possibility that this was a random killing. Itwas too personal. Too targeted. It just didn’t make sense it would be a stranger.”
“I still can’t believe that happened,” Lily whispers.
“Sometimes, I still can’t either.” I take a deep breath. “Then, when Tom was convicted, I lost all hope that doing things the quote-unquoteright waywas actually the way the world should work. Admittedly, I had always thought there was a very grey line when it came to right and wrong anyway, but after that the line got greyer and greyer.”
