But with Lily, I want to tell her everything.
Taking a deep breath, I stare out at the thick foliage. “When I was about eight, we moved to a nice neighborhood on the west side of Nashville. My parents worked hard to give us the best life, and it was a really great childhood.”
Under the blankets, Lily grips my thigh in silent support.
“My dad befriended our neighbor. Tom was the best. He was single and young, and I thought he was just the coolest. I’d go over to his house all the time to hang out with him, even after my parents told me not to bother him. But Tom never cared. He was always happy to have me over there. He taught me how to work on cars. How to repair washers and dryers. How to cook. Tom was my mentor and my best friend.”
“He sounds like a great guy.”
I kiss the top of her head. “He is a great guy. Even after I went to college, and then when my parents passed away, I stayed close to Tom. We talked every few days.” I swallow hard. The bitterness burns my throat. “He never married until I was in my mid-twenties.” I let out a sad laugh as memories compress my chest. “He called me in between finals. I’d never heard him so nervous. Or happy. He told me he met a woman, and he was pretty sure he was in love. He told me about how she had a child and how he was excited to be a stepdad.”
Lily curls more into my side as tears gather in my eyes.
“He said that I helped prepare him to be the best dad for her daughter. And that, regardless of blood, I’d always be his son.”
A sniffling noise from my side has me hugging Lily closer, grateful I’m not alone in my sudden wave of emotion.
“I don’t like where I think this is going.”
I don’t acknowledge her fear. If I lose my momentum, I won’t be able to get this out. Besides, what I’m sure she’s thinking most likely isn’t what I’m about to tell her.
“Monica was as wonderful as he said. She didn’t even think twice about accepting me as part of their family. Especially because by that point, both my parents had died. Now, her daughter was another story. Christy was wild. Always getting in trouble. Tom and Monica tried everything. Nothing worked.
Eventually, Christy moved out and had a kid, who thankfully took after his grandmother and Tom, rather than his mom. You remember Seth? From the basketball game?”
Her voice is pained when she says, “Yes, I do.”
I sigh. “That’s Christy’s son. And unfortunately for him, she never changed. She’d beg Tom and Monica for money or a place to stay. Sometimes, they’d give in, and sometimes, they’d put their foot down and tell her no. Though with Seth, it got harder to say no. So they let them move in with them a few years ago.”
My heart hurts just thinking about getting the call from Tom. The devastation in his voice. The panic, and fear, and confusion. It was so chaotic that at first; I didn’t even comprehend what he was telling me.
“And then, Monica was murdered.”
Lily’s gasp is loud in the stillness of the early evening air.
“The cops immediately assumed Tom did it. Evidence was shaky and inconclusive, but if I didn’t know Tom and knew the situation, I might have wondered about that too. But there was no way he did it. Absolutely no way.”
When I pause, Lily pleads, “Please tell me they found who did it.”
A huff leaves my chest. “They think they did anyway.”
“Oh my god,” she cries.
“I did everything I could, but the cops didn’t care. It was a lower-middle-class blended family. Statistically speaking, Tom was the murderer.”
“Is he in jail?”
I nod, even though I have no idea if Lily’s looking at me since my eyes are still locked on the trees. “He is. I’ve filed a few appeals, but without new evidence, the judge won’t do anything.”
Lily pulls away from me. “Chris…”
When I finally turn my head, she says, “You cannot take on my case. Hell, I’m worried about you being involved in this situation at all, being triggering for you. How can you even look at me with so many reminders of Tom and Monica?”
I bury my fingers in her hair and hold her head so she can’t look away. I need her to see that I mean what I say. “Lily, for so long, I’ve been alone. Even surrounded by the few friends I’ve managed to hold on to over the years of working way too many hours, I’ve felt like it was me against everything. Then I walked into that police station. And there you were. Something in you called to me on the most visceral level.” I take a deep breath, my lungs burning from emotion. “And for some unknown reason, I didn’t feel that way with you. And that feeling of loneliness has continued to lessen every moment you're with me. Like the hole that was left when my parents died, then when Tom went away, was filled by you. I need you, Lily. And I hope with every fiber of my being you need me, too.”
Emotions flicker across her face and deep in her eyes insuch rapid succession, I don’t even know what to make of them. What’s she thinking about? Is she judging me? Or Tom? Is she regretting not only hiring me, but sleeping with me? Is this about to be the end of us?
“Please say something,” I beg.
