I pop the top off the bottle before anyone can answer.
Elly jumps and Jeanette squeals in delighted fright.
Ed passes cups around, I pour, we hold our drinks aloft. "To being bad ass," I say.
"To being bad ass," everyone echoes.
We chink, and as I take a sip, Elly asks, "So when are you and Ed getting married?"
I snort the bubbles out my nose. It feels like my nostrils have been hot waxed and I grab a tea towel to wipe the fluid from my nose and the tears from my eyes.
"Steady on," says Ed.
"Yeah," I rasp, and throw the tea towel in the direction of the dirty laundry. "We only kissed that one time. Give us a chance to do a bit of fingering first."
"Only kissed that one time," says Elly. "Whatever. You've been banging madly since you went AWOL after the auction."
"Shall we go out into the garden?" I ask with fake cheeriness. "It's a lovely afternoon."
"Yes please," says Ed, heading towards the back door.
"I give it a couple of months," says Elly, following.
"That's very quick," says Lutek. "Don't most people wait a couple of years?"
"Next summer," says Jeanette. "Let's place bets."
So, we sit outside and wait for Carlos to join us, while Elly and Lutek and Jeanette create a betting ring on my and Ed's nuptials.
I vow to undertake an eternal de facto partnership just to spite them. Maybe I'll drop the odd wedding comment into conversation as a tease.
Half an hour later, Carlos appears as I've opened another bottle.
Ed claps him on the shoulder. "Here he is. The man of the hour."
Carlos beams. "All in a day's work, my boy. Nothing like some small-town espionage to keep the pecker up."
Elly's face turns in on itself. "Does that saying actually mean what it sounds like?"
Nobody appears willing to commit to an answer and I pour sparkling wine into a coffee cup for him. "You are a true star, Carlos." I give him a kiss on his cheek and his facial hair tickles my skin. "It really couldn't have gone any better."
"Where's Jason now?" asks Jeanette.
"He drove to his chum's house and my friend and I made a tactical withdrawal.”
“Yourfriend,” I say. “Tell us more about him.”
“I couldn’t possibly disclose information about my contacts, Bess. I know people. And that is all I’m prepared to say.”
"What about Bobby 'The Butcher' Barrett and Russian Sergei?" asks Ed. “Where on earth did they come from?”
Elly crosses her arms and raises one eyebrow above her smirk.
Carlos opens his mouth before closing it again. Then he looks skywards for a couple of seconds before settling his eyes back on Ed. "Nope. No idea, I'm afraid." He frowns at me. "Did you think them up?"
"No. We didn’t go into the finer details of what you’d say."
"Right." Carlos strokes his moustaches. "Bit of a mystery then, my boy."
