"Oh yeah. I did, didn't I?"
While the paintingwasof a flower, given it was pink and given her history of creating feminist art, it was somewhat confusing to most people. She insists it genuinely wasn't meant to be symbolic. I believe her. It was...isa beautiful painting.
"Okay, in my entire artistic career, I've made four hundred pounds."
"Five thousand, four hundred pounds. If today's video does actually constitute art."
"It's creative. Ergo it counts."
I take another sip and say through the crunch of an ice cube, "You know what it makes you now, though?"
She says, "An influencer," at the same time I do, but her tone is more reverent and mine is more like what someone would use after they've been spoon fed a teaspoon of earwax, because influencing is about hustling people out of money they don't have through narcissistic-driven propaganda.
"Look," she says. "My job has always been to facilitate the purchase of other people's art. This is no different."
"Apart from the fact you actually believe in the artwork of your peers.”
“I believe in the books. Mostly.” A breeze threatens to unseat the packet of crisps and Bess anchors it with the binoculars.
“I hope you made sure there were no identifying features in the video?"
"Yes. All Port Derrum signage has been blurred out, don't worry."
"Good. I wouldn't want a ring from my manager about any unofficial library promotional material. Councils can be a bit touchy about that."
"I might be willing to post my deepest and darkest thoughts about romance to the social media masses, but I do have standards about protecting you." She offers me a lopsided smile. “I wouldn’t want you to get into trouble for allowing me to film in the library.”
Allow her.Bess doesn’t ask for permission to do, well, most things – this particular thing being no exception.
“So, are you going to change the name of your TikTok channel now that you’re actually promoting romance?”
“No. My viewers know I believe in fictional romance, and that the channel name relates to romance in the real world.”
She’s being contrary. Stubborn. And absolutely, typically Bess.
“But do they? You have a whole lot of new followers now.” Bess’ TikTok channel, ‘Romance is Dead’, is dedicated to calling out the lack of romantic behaviour in males of her – our – generation. Up until her return flight from Scotland, she's been largely ignored. And when I say largely, I mean spectacularly. As in one long digital flatline.
Now she’s an accidental BookTok sensation, her messaging might be received as a little mixed.
“I’ll…just have to make sure they do.”
Before I can gather any kind of smug response about her last sentence being an indication of her knowing I’m right, she says, "The Odour honoured us with his presence today."
Ah. This is probably why I have been called to a G'n'T debrief, despite the high chance of me taking her to task, or as much to task as I ever can, over her wielding a pump action water pistol in my library.
I have mentioned to Bess that turning your co-owner's first name into a mockery of the way he smells, aftershave or no, is not a respectful or healthy way to approach a business relationship. But I have also met the man. So I only mentioned it the once. "Oh?"
"I'm surprised you didn't hear the slap of flesh on pavement from all the swooning in his wake." Bess rolls her lovely eyes.
"And what grievous offence did he commit today?"
"He called my painting of Rapunzel kissing Sleeping Beauty 'Disney-princess lesbian-fantasy' art."
I snort. "Are you really surprised?"
"No. And you know what? If he'd meant 'sexual fantasyfor lesbians', I wouldn't have a problem with that. But that is not what he meant."
I am tempted, for the nth time, to ask Bess why on earth she went into partnership with him, but I already know the answer. When she wanted to offer local artists more security and a reason to stay in Port Derrum, she didn't have the capital to buy the building she wanted to set her business up in. Mr Pinkerton was interested when no one else was. He was young and privileged with money to play with. And despite some objections to his personality, what clinched the deal was him agreeing to a nominal profit margin. Low rent for the gallery and café business, as well as the flats above.
