“The puppy going on a walk in all these stories isn’t real fun and we don’t have a dog,” he mutters with a serious look, and I fight back my laugh.
I hated reading and school as a kid. As an adult, though, I can see where there are actually things from school I use in life, like reading.
“Okay, you got me there, but some books are ones we can learn things from.”
Satisfied he goes back to playing. When the doorbell rings, I hop up to get the pizza while I hear Josie tell Justice to wash his hands. After tipping the pizza delivery man, I carry the boxes inside setting them out on her island as Justice wiggles in his chair.
“I want the biggest slice, Mama,” he exclaims in excitement.
She brings out paper plates and quickly pulls out his slice. As she does, I open three more boxes so she can decide what she would like.
“Are you hungry, Dean?” She mutters looking at the spread. “This is a lot of food. I usually just get one pizza for me and Justice. That covers dinner and lunch the next day.”
I laugh, “I like a variety,” I explain grabbing two pieces of each, some chicken wings, and cheese sticks. One thing about me, I won’t miss a meal.
“How do you eat all this and stay so fit?”
I smile, “oh you like my abs?” I joke lifting my shirt for her to see my six pack.
She laughs and I swear my fucking heart misses a beat. Her laughter is a damn melody. Justice lifts his shirt looking at his stomach.
“What are abs, Dean?” He asks me and I smile.
Kids are sponges and absorb everything around them.
“Stomach muscles,” I explain lifting a chicken wing to my mouth and taking a bite as I bring my plate to the table, snagging the seat beside Justice.
“Mom says milk gives me muscles. I don’t like it much, except in cereal. If it gives me abs, I guess I can drink it more.”
Josie joins us with her plate, and I can’t help but get lost in her beauty. “It’s important to listen to your momma, Justice. They tend to know all the things that help us grow into strong men,” I explain while keeping my eyes to Josie.
She’s a good mom. It makes me think back to my sister Dawn. She was an amazing mom. I swear there was nothing she wouldn’t do for her kids. There isn’t a day I don’t miss them. If only I could go back and be an hour earlier. Their story might have a different ending.
I have learned, the hard way, life is never going to go according to plan. Fate is a cruel bitch sometimes. The reaper tends to call out to the ones we love the most, taking the good souls from this earth long before the fucking bastards like me.
If I could trade places with my sister then or now, I would without a second thought.
“This is the best pizza night, ever,” Justice mutters with a mouth full of cheese.
I give a smile trying to get my head back in this moment and not drowning in my past.
What’s done is done and it made me the man I am today.
This man here and now, he’s not going to fuck around where Josie or Justice pay the price. Brett can give it everything he’s got. I’ve faced his type before. He won’t intimidate me.
But he should be scared.
I’ve killed before and I’ll kill again. I won’t lose sleep over it either.
Ten
Josie
One month of actual no contact
What about him makes me lose control?
Thank God it’s Friday! I swirl the glass of wine in my hand. It’s a warm night as I stand on my porch in my pajama set. It’s a soft linen shorts and button top in red with black hearts all over. For this moment, I take in the ability to stand outdoors without fear even if I know it’s short lived. Brett has taken so much from me; I want to have this moment to commit to memory since I don’t get many of them. Why he’s backed off, I don’t know, and I don’t want to know. I want to embrace this gift of peace.
