They’d found a way to get the life they wanted, one without me.
I’d get the life I wanted too. I’d save myself somehow. I’d do whatever it took.
21
LUCY
{Back to the pain}
Adult Lucy. Second phase of treatment...
They hadn’t strappedme down quite so thoroughly this time. I could turn my head a little left and right, taking in more of the hustle and bustle.
“We’re ready to begin.” A deep voice resonated, words pushing through the room to touch everyone involved with this torture session.
"Second stage catalyzer drip started at a rate of 125,” a nurse to my right announced. She then moved a few steps closer to me and offered a brief, sympathetic smile. "This may cause some discomfort, Lucy.”
Some discomfort. The understatement almost made me laugh, but the sound that escaped instead was a strangled groan as fresh fire joined the existing blaze in my veins. This pain was a new kind of hell—this was molecular violation, cells rupturingand reforming. The so-called cure was assaulting who I was so thoroughly that I wasn’t sure what I’d become if I survived.
I began to disassociate, but voices pulled me back to reality.
“Push the Formadicite now.” Male. Doctor Mercy maybe. I'd forced myself to remember the Institute doctor's name after he’d done a follow-up visit to my room after phase one. I didn’t like him. He was cold, without a morsel of warmth.
“Pushing now.” Female.
“Increase the catalyzer rate to 150.” Male.
“Increasing rate to 150 mLs per hour.” Female.
My arm shifted and I felt gentle tugging at the IV. Seconds later, icy fluid pushed into my body.
So cold…God! So cold it was like lava!Scorching. Frostbite.My teeth chattered even as the volcanic liquid pushed through my veins.
I’d asked questions before this second phase, questions I should have asked before ever signing onto this experimental treatment. Familiarizing myself with the process stripped some of the fear away. Of course, it did nothing for the agony. While the catalyzer drip ran, they’d push a series of meds into my secondary IV line. With each new fluid entering to mingle with the existing cocktail, my body would react in unpredictable ways. And there was zero guarantee I’d make it to the last phase.
Yesterday, I had a moment looking in the mirror when… I swore my hair looked lighter, my skin paler—which I didn’t think was possible, considering I’d spent most of my life indoors and I was always only a few shades darker than copy paper—and my eyes seemed a richer, stranger hue.Was being cured worth it if afterwards I was no longer myself?
The monitor beside the treatment table began to wail, a high-pitched alarm that sent the medical team into controlled panic.
"Oxygen saturation dropping," a female voice called. "Eighty-two percent... seventy-nine..."
"Increase oxygen flow," Doctor Emerson ordered, stepping closer to the bed, professional distance momentarily forgotten.
“That’s not part of the protocol,” a male voice protested.
“Damn the protocol!” Emerson growled. "Lucy? Can you hear me?"
I tried to nod, but my body no longer seemed connected to my brain. Both the fire and the ice burning had reached my chest, squeezing my lungs in a vise that made each breath a separate agony. Black spots danced at the edges of my vision, expanding and contracting like living things.
"How are you feeling?" Doctor Emerson stood at the head of the treatment table, his voice tight with concern. I looked up at him, my vision blurry.
I forced my lips to move, tasting copper. I’d bitten down on my tongue without realizing it. Bits of blood had mingled with saliva. All I tasted was metal now.
"Just another day in paradise," I managed, the words slurring together despite my best efforts.
A flicker of relief crossed his face before he moved out of view. A continuous beep suddenly cut through the controlled chaos like a knife. Four pairs of eyes snapped to the screen, bodies tensing beneath yellow suits, before the line jumped and resumed its erratic pattern.
"Cardiac anomaly noted," a nurse noted, her clinical tone at odds with the urgency of her movements. "Time stamp fourteen twenty-two hours."
