No. I didn’t think I did.
I had something else giving me a peace that wasn’t so short lived.
Lucy. Gorgeous, tough-as-nails, Lucy. She was sunshine, breaking through dark, heavy clouds.
I stepped back from the kitchen counter, surprised by the ease with which I could now walk away. I turned to leave… then turned back around immediately. I faced the whiskey again not because I was wavering, but because I needed to do something I should have done a long damn time ago.
Reaching up, I opened the cabinet above the whiskey. One by one, I pulled down every bottle there. Fifteen in total. I needed to get the two in my bathroom as well. Padding out to the garage, I bypassed the shelves and tubs, finding a half-crushed shipping box by the recycling can. I took that inside and filled it so heavy with liquor the bottom bent outward against the weight, papery tape hanging on for dear life.
As I started walking it out to the trash, I paused. This wasn’t good enough. I’d still know the bottles were out there intact, waiting. Returning to the sink, I uncapped and dumped every ounce. When I was done, I carried the box—markedly lighter now—and dumped the proof of my self-destructive, self-medicating past into the bin to be hauled away come Tuesday.
Running a hand through my hair, I wandered back inside. My brothers were at the Cirque. I was on Lucy duty today. Not that it was a duty. Being with her was a goddamn privilege. I just wasn’t sure what to do with myself. Drinking had consumed so much of my life. I had nothing to fill the void.No, not void. The time I’d reclaimed. The time I’d taken back.
I walked toward the living room, my socked feet silent against the hardwood floors. I made it as far as the edge of the area rug, then I stopped moving. I didn’t know why. My body felt heavy suddenly, gravity increasing ten-fold. I carried thenonstop responsibility of keeping my pack in line, DemonX free of bad publicity and under contract, not letting the damn house fall apart. No one had asked me to shoulder the burden; it came to me naturally—DemonX had been my idea after all. I hadn’t minded for a long time, but the older I got, the harder it became to stay on the straight and narrow. There were times sanity was slipping through my fingers.
Logically, I knew it was my Alpha nature decaying for want of a mate. It didn’t matter how fucking tough a man was, no one can fight a biological clock from ticking.
The liquor helped me last. Helped me keep going.
What I’d always needed was finally here though, to take its rightful place.
As if drawn by my thoughts of her, Lucy walked into the room. She was looking down, reading a magazine as she moved. She was heading straight toward me, totally unawares. I didn’t move. I waited, letting her advance.
When her course shifted just enough to miss where I stood, I shuffled over, putting myself in her direct path again. I waited, heart thudding, until Lucy walked directly into my body.
“Oh!” she gasped, jolting back in surprise.
She wasn’t falling, but I still put my arms around her, pulling her ‘steady’.
“I wasn’t falling,” she eyed me suspiciously.
“Really? I thought you were,” I shrugged, knitting my hands together at her back and not letting her leave.
Her gaze narrowed, those emerald eyes keen. “If you want to hold me, you can just ask.”
“I want to hold you,” I breathed out shamelessly.
She blinked, then slowly nodded. “Okay.”
Lucy pushed into my body, wrapping her own arms around me, one hand still gripping her magazine. My chest tightened as the length of her pressed against me. I felt every curve, allthe softness I was craving. Waves of need flooded from my core, threatening to wake up a part of me that I didn’t think Lucy was ready to accept. So, I gave her a squeeze and reluctantly pulled away.
“You okay?” she asked, expression searching.
“Better than I’ve been in a long time,” I answered truthfully.
She smiled at that, then took my hand, tugging me over to the sofa. I let her push me down against a cushion. It still amazed me that this tiny creature, no bigger than a damn minute, had wrapped me and my Alpha brothers around her delicate fingers. Lucy leaned, poking at my left arm. I lifted it and she sat down on the cushion beside me, snuggling into my side. The feel of her against me made tendrils of electricity shoot through every part of my damn body, from the soles of my feet to the top of my head. This woman made me come alive in ways I didn’t think possible. I hovered my arm in the air, unsure where to put it. Eventually, I draped it over the back of the sofa.
"What are you reading?" I asked, leaning closer to peek at the glossy pages.
Lucy angled the magazine toward me.
"An oldSlick Trick Sportsissue. You guys were the feature story.” She turned to a page and tapped a photograph that spread across two pages. “It’s you,” she said confidently, then held the magazine close to her face, reading the small caption below the action shot. “Xander of DemonX mastered the Kiss of Death backflip at the tender age of seventeen. Since crashing onto the professional stunt scene, DemonX has gone full throttle, showing no signs of slowing down.”
“Seventeen was a long time ago.” I stared at the image of myself captured mid-trick. My body was arched above a motorcycle, back towards the handlebars. I could close my eyes and remember that moment, suspended between gravity's release and its inevitable reclaim. The photographer had framedthe shot, so the stadium lights created a halo effect around me. It was one of my favorite career photos.
Lucy turned the magazine around, studying the picture again. "Is it amazing?" she asked, her voice soft with wonder. "Does it feel like flying?"
I leaned back against the cushions, considering. No one had asked me that in years. Back in the day, I’d have immediately said, “yes.” Right now, I wasn’t sure flying was the right description anymore.
