I wrenched free of his grip, my vision narrowing to a pinpoint. All I could think about was Lucy—fragile, pale Lucy with her translucent skin and visible veins—crushed beneath tons of canvas and metal. Lucy, who'd held fire in her palm without flinching. Lucy, who'd finally started to show me who she really was because I’d stopped, for one goddamn heartbeat, trying to drive her away.
"She went in there for you," I snarled, shoving him hard enough that he stumbled backward. "She had no fucking reason to help you after everything you've done."
Confusion flashed across Nitro's face. "I don't?—"
"She went in to save you," I repeated, already moving toward the flattened tent. "She shouldn't have. She should have let you die. She shouldn’t care about any of us enough to risk her life."
People swarmed the perimeter of the collapsed structure now, some cutting at the heavy material with knives, others trying to lift sections where bodies might be trapped. I joined them, pulling at the canvas with desperate strength, fingers scraping against the rough surface.
Somewhere beneath this suffocating shroud was Lucy.My Lucy. Our Lucy.The woman who'd looked at fire the same way I did, eyes full of respect and a hunger that couldn't be explained. The woman I was supposed to be driving away, but all I wanted now was to draw her closer.
As I tore futilely at the canvas, I cursed and prayed simultaneously. And I never fucking prayed.
This woman who looked at me and didn’t see the monster can’t be dead.
This woman I don’t deserve has to be alive.
Please, not dead. Please, let her be alive.
I shouldn’t have let her leave the other tent. I should have held her down and made her ignore the screams. I should have told her Nitro could burn for all I cared.
Instead, I'd let her go. Now, she might be gone forever.
With renewed fervor, I attacked the collapsed tent, ignoring the cuts forming on my hands and the sweat dripping into my eyes. I wouldn't stop until I found her. I’d work my flesh to the bone if I had to. Because the truth was now undeniable. This Omega had lit an eternal flame inside my soul that even a monsoon couldn’t extinguish.
I wasn't trying to get rid of Lucy anymore. I was desperately trying to keep her.
48
XANDER, ASHER, NITRO, FALLON, & KANE
Trinity Hospital.
West Henderson, Nevada.
XANDER.
I hung my head, still unable to breathe well. The weight on my chest could rival a damn elephant.
The antiseptic scent of Trinity Hospital’s waiting room wrapped around me, thick and suffocating. I stood there, shoulders tense, arms crossed tightly to my chest, nails digging into my biceps as if inflicting physical pain would absolve me of guilt.
Nothing could distract me from the nightmare unfolding down the hall. Lucy had been in surgery for three hours already.
Three hours of torment.
Three hours of questioning everything I’d done since she’d arrived at our compound, looking like an astronaut in that stupid suit.
Three hours spent waiting for fate to decide if we would get another chance.
Three fucking hours deciding how badly I’d hurt myself if Lucy didn’t live and my pack didn’t get the chance to make it all right.
My brothers moved restlessly around me, their Alpha chemistries souring with guilt and anxiety. The air around us seemed to fracture, making every inhalation full of painful shards. We deserved the hurt. We deserved the agony.
Lucy didn’t.
I couldn’t stop looking at the clock, the seconds dripping by at a cruel pace, each tick a reminder of how out of control I felt. Dropping my arms, ignoring the bleeding nail marks, I shoved my hands into my pockets. But that didn’t ground me. Instead, fresh waves of self-hate flowed through me as my fingers grazed the broken heart necklace. The EMTs had handed it to me as they wheeled Lucy’s unconscious body towards a waiting ambulance. She’d been holding it tightly in her fist. I’d put the necklace on her to degrade her and treat her like a goddamn pet. Now the chain and hollow pendant burned my skin, reminding me that Lucy might die thinking I hated her.
But, fuck, I didn’t hate her.
