“Xander?” Lucy made my name a question, her voice quiet but steady.
“I can’t—” I found myself murmuring, hesitation boiling just below the surface. I wanted to wrap her in my arms again and push her a mile away simultaneously.Get away from her.I told myself angrily.You’re acting like a goddamn pussy.
But how could I retreat when every part of me wanted to draw her closer? I cursed myself silently, wishing I’d just told Eros to fuck off and keep the money, that we didn’t want some broken Omega.
What would it mean if I let her linger in my life? Would I break her eventually, even if I didn’t want to?
Her eyes were wide.
Face pale in the dim light.
She was so strangely beautiful.
I can’t fucking feel this way.
Pushing everything I didn’t want to face down, I turned and began pulling Lucy behind me. She moved, keeping pace withme, saying nothing. She didn’t need to speak; the way she’d said my name replayed in my mind as an endless loop.
Xander. Xander. Xander.
As we moved through the house, Asher's laughter echoed faintly in the distance, followed by Kane’s voice. I didn’t know what the hell we’d do if Asher went back to how he used to be—slipping in and out of psychosis that only brute force could break. He might try this shit again. If he did, I’d put him in the hospital.
Hurt him that bad for this woman?
Yeah, maybe.
My insides twisted, conflicting feelings battling. The closer we got to my room, the harder it became to quell those feelings churning inside me.
We reached the door, and without a word, I pushed it open, pulling her into my space. A few paces to the bed and I let go of the necklace, then I reached for her waist.
My fingers wrapped around her narrow middle, my large hands nearly touching at the small of her back. So. Damn. Tiny. I could squeeze firmly and crush her.
With a swift, deliberate motion, I turned her body and pushed her down against the bed. She landed with a soft thud, body slightly bouncing. Though I’d manipulated this scene, it still felt like an invitation.
To lay down beside her.
To touch her.
To have my way.
“Sleep,” I said quickly, spinning towards the door before the word had finished leaving my mouth.
When I was outside my bedroom, a barrier between us, I fisted one hand and slammed my chest. I wanted to knock Lucy out of my system. I had to, or I’d be a goddamn goner.
“Son of a bitch,” I breathed out. “She shouldn’t smell like that. Not after how we've been treating her.” I ran a hand over my face, callouses roughing my skin. My thoughts were a mess. I was a mess. This whole situation as a fucking mess.
Impulsively, I turned back to my door. My hand curled around the knob before I realized what I was doing. When I came up for air, I pulled away like I’d just touched hot embers.
I reached for the knob, this time intentionally. One more look at her face would be fine. It wouldn’t mean anything.Yes, it fucking would.
A storm brewing inside, I spun on my heels and stalked back across the house to the smoky bedroom. I grabbed the ruined mattress, hoisted it onto its side, then lifted it awkwardly. Carrying the damn thing reminded me of Lucy’s struggle to slide it across the floor. She’d not given up. She’d pulled and shoved until she’d won. That wasn’t weakness.
When I was outside, I headed toward a project car parked haphazardly in the driveway. Kane needed to keep his broken ass vehicles over near the damn garage. I grunted, lifting the mattress higher and tossing it onto the auto. The impact made the windshield crack. There, that would remind my pack brother to not leave his shit lying around just anywhere.
With the distraction ended, Lucy came into my head again.
She shoved into my grey matter, wherever she’d fit.
“She can’t stay. She’s a goddamn porcelain doll,” I muttered under my breath.
