“Substance? I don’t recall any lessons on that.”
She laughed again. “If you recall, time was short, I only taught you the basics. Yes, substance. Essentially, there was something you were most likely feeling at the time, which was baked into the binding and you won’t be able to remove it until that feeling, whatever it was… is resolved.”
Oh.
That could be very bad.
I’d been feeling a lot of things when I’d put the binding on: threatened and scared, imperious and vengeful, maybe even… a little aroused. I didn’t want to admit that last part, even to myself. Bayn had been flying off the handle, and I really shouldn’t have been thinking that was sexy in any way, but it all came down to bad boys doing bad boy things. The way his massive hand had grabbed my waist and lifted me… one handed… pushing me against a wall — even though he’d had no sexy intent — may have turned me on… just a teensy, tiny bit.
Was it wrong?
Yes.
Was it messed up?
Sure.
Was it one hundred percent something I’d do?
Also, yes.
“Okay…” I drew the word out. “So… what does that mean… resolved?”
She cocked her head. “Why don’t you tell me what you were feeling and we can walk through it.”
I gave a tight smile. “Sure…” I elongated that word, not wanting to tell her everything, but knowing I should. “Just… don’t tell my grandmother, okay? She’d never let me hear the end of it?”
“Wait… were you…” She cleared her throat, “…withBayn… at the time?”
With him? Yes. The way she meant? Not really.
“No, nothing like that… well, something remotely like that.” And I explained the whole scene and situation to Lhorine.
The elf wore a bemused and slightly confused expression when I finished.
“Yeah, Olinara would never let you live that down.”
“I know, right?” I threw my hands out to the side. “So, what do I do? How do I resolvethat?”
“Well…” The wayshedrew out the word and looked away.
“No, I’m not having sex with him.”
“It might not require much… a little arousal, perhaps?”
“I’ll take that under consideration,” I groused. “Anything else?”
She sighed. “The fear is the harder part. Are you still afraid of him?”
Was I?
“Yes, a little. But… it’s also sort of mixed up with the arousal I think, and the wanting to get back at him. It’s… complicated.”
“And that’s your problem. You have complicated emotions for him, and until you sort them out and figure yourself out… you won’t be able to undo the binding. The only other way is to find someone more powerful than you… and that’s not likely.”
Yeah, I’m a boss-bitch!
And in this case, it was causing problems.
