Everyone smiled, some nodded, most of us made soft sounds of agreement.
“Usually the queen has a harem, her inamorati, but they’re not actually spouses. You really are going to shake things up,” Koar said.
“That’s the plan,” Izzy said with a grin, but it quickly faded. I could see — and feel through our bond — the burden of her impending rulership weighing on her.
“We’ll all be there to help you,” I whispered, reaching over to clasp her hand tightly.
She gave a bit of a smile at that, but her mood didn’t lift much.
We didn’t talk a lot after that, focusing on the food. We were all recovering and famished. We polished off everything Malineth had brought, then asked for more. Izzy excused herself while some of the others were still eating.
I got up with her and asked if we could talk.
She nodded and mumbled, “I just… need some air.” So, I escorted her outside, where we meandered over the lawns around Izzy’s residence.
I gave her some time to her thoughts before I spoke, but she seemed to only grow gloomier. I squeezed her hand, held in mine as we walked.
“I have a proposal,” I said, hoping to jar her out of her dark thoughts.
She quirked one brow. “Like a down-on-one-knee proposal?”
I laughed. “I thinkthat’sa given. No, something else.” Idrew in a breath and plastered on a smile. “I want you to break the bond between us.”
Izzy’s mouth fell open. I sensed her confusion and distress, so I hurried to explain.
“I’ve been thinking about it a lot this morning.” I’d been up first and had taken a walk earlier myself, pondering this and how to tell Izzy. I still hadn’t come up with any good way to say it, hence the reason I’d blurted it out.
“I learned a lot about myself yesterday,” I said. “I no longer feel unworthy. IknowI’m enough. I may not be the strongest or the fastest, but I’m no slouch and I kicked ass in that battle. I’m… good now. I don’tneedthe bond to prove that you love me. I know you do, and I love me too. I know you’ll be there for me and I’ll always be there for you. Nothing will ever change that. So… I’m good.”
That made her smile, but she still looked a bit worried.
I pushed on. “And the bond, well, as much as I like feeling everything you feel, the whole imperative to mate can be a bit awkward at times. I don’t know what the future holds, but I’m guessing it won’t always be possible to stay close, and we both know how rough it feels to be apart. Don’t get me wrong, I want to be close to you all the time, but I also want to be more than a husband.”
This was the part I’d been thinking a lot about earlier.
“I want a role in your government. I want to help, somehow, though I don’t know exactly how yet. I want to help the people of the three realms as much as you do. And if I do, I might be away from you for a while. I don’t want to be, but it may be a part of whatever role I take on.”
She nodded solemnly, lips pursed.
“Anything else,” she asked.
“No, that’s pretty much it.”
She nodded and gave a tight smile. “Request denied.”
I raised my brows.
She squeezed my hand.
“I get that you’re feeling better about yourself and that you don’tneedthe bond to feel whole. That’s great, I’m proud of you. But my answer is no. Just because we don’t need the bond doesn’t mean we don’t like it. I, at least, really like it. I love the soothing warmth I get when we’re close. I don’t want to lose that. It may be selfish, but this bond is a two-way street, and I would like to keep it.”
Oh.
I had to smile. “Thanks,” I whispered. Then, after a deep breath. “So… what do we do about being apart?” I asked.
She cocked her head to the side.
“What if weadjustedthe bond? Shaped it into something we both want, something that doesn’t hinder us?”
