“I loved him more than anything,” she whispered. “It surprised me. At first, it didn’t feel right at all. I felt… ashamed. I shouldn’t favor anyone. All are welcome in my bed. But over time, I came to accept it, even… desire it. I lived for his next visit and made sure I had no other appointments when he was with me. I savored every moment with him. I thought for a while, it might be because he gave me the most spectacular orgasms, but eventually I realized it was far deeper.” She pursed her lips, a tear tracing her cheek.
“And when he died…” her voice was so choked up she couldn’t speak. I went to her, held her, like I’d done as a boy when she’d gotten like this. Back then, I’d not known why she wept. “I felt even more ashamed that I’d fallen for him.” She still couldn’t say the “L” word it seemed. “It hurt so bad and…” she sniffled, “…I didn’t want you to ever feel that pain.”
“I know,” I whispered.
“But I only ever told you about the pain and never about the joy, and I’m sorry for that. You… you should know more of your father. And you should enjoy every second you have with Izzy.”
I smiled. “I know,” I said, my emotions settling. Izzy hadn’t died. We’d both lived and now I no longer felt the anticipation of pain I’d felt before. I’d been living in the future, a future which didn’t exist and wouldn’t, at least not for a long time. And I’d probably go before she did, damned long-lived elves.
When I released my mother, she dried her tears and smiled at me. “We’ll talk, soon,” she whispered.
“I look forward to it. Until then, can you not lurk in our bedchambers? If you’re a lady in waiting, could you… whip us up some breakfast?”
Her smile grew. “I suppose I could do that.” She slowly turned to go, glancing back over her shoulder.
“Amar…?” she said as she paused looking back at the bed. “That big one, the titan, is he… entirely devoted to her, or…?”
“He is, now get!” I said, exasperated as she winked at me, then sauntered out.
I showered and by the time I dried and was dressing, the others were starting to rise. Bayn staggered in for a shower, and Vyns said he wanted to soak in the tub. Koar stayed close to Izzy as she slowly woke.
“Can I borrow her?” I asked the dragon. He nodded and wandered over to the far side of the massive room.
“Morning orgasms?” Izzy asked, then groaned as she shifted. “Maybe not, I’m sore… everywhere.”
“Orgasms can help with that,” I said sliding next to her on the bed and smoothing back her sleep-rumpled hair. I kissed her forehead, and she hummed a contented sound. “But can we talk first?”
“Serious talk?” she asked.
“Yeah.”
“It’s too early.”
“You just have to listen, is that okay?”
“And orgasms after?” she said, still dopey with sleep.
“Orgasms after, I promise.”
She slid up so she could lean her head on my chest, one hand straying up to undo the buttons on the shirt I’d just put on. Horny, was she? I’d talk fast.
“I know we joked, before the battle, about our reasons to live, but I need you to know… it isn’t a threesome with you and Myel that gave me hope and made me fight yesterday.” She gave a soft sound of acknowledgement. I sensed her mood shifting, turning dark. Her thoughts were clear to me, she didn’t want to think about yesterday, about the pain and death.
I hurried on, “What gave me hope was… you,” I whispered. “Just you. Just being with you and doing normal things with you, having soft and tender moments like this with you.”
She snuggled in closer at that.
“Even though I’d said I love you, I was still keeping a part of me back. I was living in some theoretical future of pain, holding out on all the things I really wanted, afraid that having them would make that future even morepainful. But I’m not doing that anymore. I want to… hold your hand and take a walk. I want to make you dinner. Hell, I want to have kids with you. Our kids would be adorable! They’d break so many hearts. I want to care for you, tend to you, hold you—” I wrapped my arm around her and pressed her close to my side, “—comfort you when you’re in pain. I want to show you how much I love you for the rest of our lives.”
She sighed and softened in my arms, her darker thoughts fading.
“I need you to know how big a deal this is, Izzy. An incubus, saying these things… it’s…”
“A mental disorder?” she prompted.
“Yeah, exactly. I’m all wrong in the head, but all right in the heart and it’s weird, but I don’t want anything to change.”
“Me neither, I love you too Rook, and I want all those things with you.” She shifted, moving up and languidly rolling her body onto mine before rising to straddle me. Blazing Inferno, she was damned gorgeous and fucking sexy, even first thing in the morning. All that tousled hair made me think of post-sex-satisfied Izzy and my cock was suddenly on high alert.
