I squirted a blob of shampoo onto her crown and worked it through the strands. As I increased the pressure and created a mass of suds, she let out a soft moan that connected to some deep, hidden part of me.
“Your hands feel so nice,” she said.
Her eyes were still closed, her mouth soft and relaxed. Instead of responding, I continued massaging her scalp and let the silence surround us, taking my cues from her. My dead phone wasn’t buzzing with messages. The noise from the TV couldn’t reach us here. It was the most at peace I’d been since she’d come down with the virus.
“I remember your hair before we were forced into lockdown,” she said quietly, as if she didn’t want to break the spell. “You used to have the sharpest haircut. It looked like every single strand was doing exactly what you wanted it to do.”
It seemed like years ago and just yesterday at the same time. “Bit different now.”
“I like this look,” she said. “It fits your personality better.”
“Messy and out of control?”
Her mouth quirked on one side. “Adorably rumpled and charming.”
A few kind words from her felt like a gift, and my heart flooded with warmth. I refilled the jug and rested my hand on her forehead to protect her eyes. “Tip your head back,” I murmured.
Sadie obeyed, and I poured water over her head, sending a cascade of bubbles rushing down to join the collection already surrounding her. The water lapped at her body, and the steam carried the scent of my shampoo.
There were still some suds left behind, so I drenched the lengths again and dropped the jug to wick the bubbles. Ribbons of blonde slipped through my fingers, glistening as they moved in the light. She shivered and didn’t say a word, so I repeated the motion a few times, using gentle hands.
The silence was peaceful, broken only by our soft breaths and the crackle of popping bubbles.
As I swept my palm over the strands for the last time, she rested her elbows on her knees and hid her face in her hands. At first, I thought she was protecting her eyes, but then her shoulders drooped and shuddered, and a soft sob broke free.
I froze, waiting for a clue. “Sadie?”
She sobbed again, and the shuddering intensified. “I don’t even know why I’m crying,” she said. “I feel so pathetic.”
Maybe it was relief, or a delayed reaction to a near-death experience. Either way, she wouldn’t get any judgement from me.
“You’ve been through hell,” I said. “Don’t expect too much of yourself.”
She nodded quickly, keeping her eyes averted. Hugging in bed under the cover of darkness was one thing, and falling apart in the bath another.
I didn’t speak, just rubbed her back and sat with her.
“How are you feeling?” I asked when her tears had slowed.
She released a loud sigh and lifted her head. “Fine. Just a moment of weakness.”
Her lashes were spiky and wet, her eyes brimming with tears. Her throat moved as she swallowed, and I struggled to think of a time when I’d found a woman more beautiful.
“Impressive,” I said with a slight smile. “Even when you feel like crap, you can still find the energy to bullshit me.”
Her mouth quirked, and she used the heels of her palms to wipe her eyes. “I’m trying to put on a brave face.”
“Well… stop trying. You don’t need to pretend with me.”
She held my gaze, and something clicked in her eyes. Her expression turned pensive, as if she’d just discovered something about me.
I watched her for a moment longer, then decided it was time to wrap this up before I did something stupid and impulsive.
As I gathered her hair into a bundle and squeezed out the excess water, my grip pulled an involuntary moan from her. Before I could work out the best way to handle it, she checked herself and straightened, and the water slipped lower on her chest.
Jesus. She’d only made it worse. I looked away fast as my pulse hammered.
Didn’t she realise I was human? Just a man? I cleared my throat for the second time, wondering what I’d done in a past life to deserve this kind of torture. “I think we’re about done,” I said, hoping she wouldn’t pick up on the huskiness in my voice. “Why don’t I leave you alone for a few minutes and let you finish up?”
