“Tim and Varesh have each other,” he continued as if I hadn’t spoken. “Laura has Owen. The girls get affection from their parents, and Kerger feeds off the energy of everyone around him. You and me... we’re alone.”
Anticipation gathered in the air. I had no clue where these observations were taking him, or if I was equipped to handle the answer. “What are you saying exactly?”
He appeared to be weighing his options, and when he spoke again, he sounded unsure of himself for the first time. “If you ever want to drop by just to... I don’t know... lie on the couch with me, come over anytime, okay? No funny business,” he added to put me at ease. “You have my word. Just lounging together—hugging if you feel like it. That kind of shit.”
That kind of shit.He’d tried to play it off as if it didn’t matter. But it did. And it should. We were losing so much of ourselves it made sense to hang onto every little thing that kept us human.
I smiled to myself. I never could have predicted having Theo in my apartment, or telling him about my past trauma, and here we were talking about hanging out again. “I’m not saying yes or no, only that I’ll keep it in mind.”
“All right. I won’t hassle you about it,” he said, “but whenever you feel the urge for some cuddle time with a big, strong man, all you need to do is knock on my door.”
I laughed. I couldn’t keep it contained. “I’ll remember.”
How could I forget?
His offer was so tempting, and yet almost unfathomable for someone like me.
Seven
theo
“Anything changing with those roadblocks out your way?” My dad’s gruff voice came through the phone, loud and clear.
He had the same access to the news I did, but for some reason hearing it from me made it more real. “Nope. Highways are still being patrolled, and all the main streets are still barricaded.”
I went up to the rooftop early to call him, making the most of the solitude before the other residents came outside.
The fog was so thick it left no separation between the sky and the ground, and my view from the side wall only extended as far as three houses down.
“When are you going to say to hell with it and leave anyway?” he asked.
Same question, different day. My answer was always some version of waiting and seeing how bad things got, but it didn’t stop him from asking.
People were being detained at military checkpoints, and as far as I knew, no one was getting through. Taking back roadsimproved my chances of reaching my family, but it had the potential of doubling my travel time—still with no guarantee of avoiding complications.
“Not yet.” I pulled the zipper of my puffer jacket higher. “If they tighten restrictions and everything turns to shit, the roads are going to open up, anyway.”
“And by then, every fool will be using them,” Dad said.
“So, I’ll just wait a few days until the rush is over.” There was no real need to leave right now, and I wanted to keep my life as normal as I could until I had no other option. “Have you been talking to Mia?” I asked.
He grunted and covered the phone to grizzle at the border collie he’d got for company after Mum died. He swore Norm would be an outside dog from the beginning, but the dog had a different opinion, and he’d been sleeping on Dad’s bed for the past five years.
“I talked to her last night, straight after they announced today’s meeting, but your sister’s as stubborn as you are,” he said. “I’ve got enough space for all of you here. You can have your old rooms back, for God’s sake.”
I wandered over to the rear wall and surveyed the area where our cars were parked, the windscreens damp with dew. More than half the vehicles and a couple of motorbikes had been sitting stationary for months after the owners died. “I hear you, but it’s not an option right now. If things take a turn, I’ll head straight to you—and I’ll talk Mia into doing the same with Ruby.”
“I’ve got fences, you know,” he said absently, like he was staring out the window deep in thought. “Strong fences.” Poor guy was still trying to figure out why his kids were so dense.
“Yeah, I know, Dad.” He’d installed fences and a security gate years ago to stop vermin and crop theft on his olive farm in Fairmarsh. The hundred-acre property was surrounded by adjoining farms, and all the neighbours were on friendly terms.The perfect place to ride out a pandemic. “Like I said, it’s a watch-and-wait situation, but you’ll be the first to know if anything changes.”
My phone buzzed with a message that couldn’t have come at a better time. “Look, I’ve gotta go, but I’ll call again soon, okay?”
“Righto. Can’t wait to hear more about why you’re not coming.”
I smiled, ending the call just as Norm barked. At least the dog knew how to keep the grumpy old bugger in line.
With a loud exhale, I checked my phone and found a text from someone not in my contacts.
