Minutes later, the man sidled out through one of the double doors and stooped to collect my offering, his reaction time letting me know he’d been watching me from one of the windows. It should have worried me knowing he wanted to keep an eye on me from over there, but it didn’t.
Weird.
My body had already decided before my brain could catch on that he was a trustworthy person, and I frowned, wondering what had triggered the response. We hadn’t even made eye contact yet, but his presence made me feel safer and less alone whenever I went outside.
I nibbled on my thumbnail and kept just out of sight in case he looked up and saw me.
He lifted the travel mug to his nose and inhaled. While my breath came faster, he removed the lid, checked inside, and then took a sip of the steaming liquid without a moment's hesitation. That act alone had me pulling in a surprised breath. He knew nothing about me, yet he trusted me not to poison or drug him. It was instant coffee made with powdered milk—nothing compared to the quality we used to drink—but it was heaven in our current circumstances and seeing him accept it made me feel like he’d just accepted me.
He didn’t tilt his head in my direction to acknowledge me, but when he took another sip and smiled a little, he might as well have.
He was aware of me standing here.
Just as I’d been able to feel his absence in the café yesterday, he could feel my presence now. It made me nervous in the best kind of way.
I remained hidden and watched him like I used to watch my favourite TV shows, eyes glued to his movements, holding my breath from time to time while I waited to see what twists and turns would come next. From a distance, he looked like the kind of man I might have considered out of my league if we'd met pre-pandemic—but my mum had once told me if self-deprecation was an Olympic event, I would have won gold, so I didn't always trust my opinion in that area.
“Olivia?”
I jumped at the sound of Haruto’s voice and turned to find him standing in the open doorway to his room.
“Morning.” I wiped the excitement from my face so he wouldn’t catch on that I’d been sneaking around. He was a master at reading expressions, and I hadn't reached the point where I wanted to tell him about the other man yet. “You’re awake early.” He usually rose just before I headed out each morning to remind me to be safe and watch me leave. I'd completed my coffee run extra early in the hope he wouldn't hear the kettle or the door opening and closing.
“You going out already?”
“No." I smiled. "I will be soon. I was just checking the weather.”
I glanced over my shoulder at the spot where the man had been standing. He'd disappeared inside and taken the cup with him.
Seeing the empty doorway filled me with longing and had me more convinced than ever that I needed to meet him. When my last friend on earth was gone, I didn't want to take on this life alone. Haruto and I had propped each other up throughout the madness and thinking about the loneliness he'd leave behind was too depressing to contemplate.
He shuffled toward the kitchen to start his day, and my stomach dropped as I watched him. His navy pyjamas hung off his frame, and his wispy grey hair stood up in different directions, making him look like a little boy again. With a shuddering breath, I turned away from the sight and faced the balcony, torn and tempted.
The only thing I knew for sure was that my life would be changing soon regardless of my wishes, and if I didn't take control now, I'd be left floundering when it happened.
~ * ~
“You need to find new people,” Haruto said from his comfy spot on the recliner a few days later. "A group."
He’d been reading one of the architecture magazines I brought back for him earlier in the week, but he dog-eared the page and laid it on his lap as if preparing to deliver a lecture. Perked up from the relief of the pain meds I’d been scavenging for him, he’d shown welcome glimpses of the funny, energetic man he used to be before he became ill. I’d stocked up on enough of them now that they should keep him going for at least a month before I had to worry about finding more.
So… it looked like we were having this long-overdue conversation. I braced myself as I stood at the kitchen bench and ripped open the plastic casing on our final 36-pack of bottled water. Bulk cases had originally filled one of the floor-to-ceiling cupboards in my spare bedroom, but like with all the other supplies I’d accumulated during the beginning of the pandemic, these too were running low.
I wanted to play dumb and pretend I didn't understand what Haruto was talking about, but we knew each other too well for me to attempt a trick like that. “I know,” I said with a sigh.
He delivered an understanding look that only put me on edge. “It's time, Olivia."
Oh-liv-i-a. I'd miss the way he pronounced my name, his accent turning it into something musical.
"I know," I said again, only this time my voice shook.
When I went over to his chair, Haruto accepted the bottle I held out to him as I perched on the arm of his recliner. Emotion tightened my throat, and I wished so badly for things to be different. He was the last part of my before-life, and I wanted to cling to that connection for as long as possible. “Humans can be just as dangerous as the dead, though," I reminded him. "Sometimes even more so."
“You careful. You tell good from bad.” He cracked the lid on the bottle, took a couple of sips of water, and set it on the side table.
I gave an absent nod and stared through the glass at the bright sky beyond. Without the help of social media and texts to get a feel for a person, all I could rely on were my instincts.
I thought about the man I’d seen on the streets; his low-key demeanour and the way his presence made me feel. A sense of safety had come over me every time we'd crossed paths, giving the impression I could have approached him at any point and been a hundred percent certain he wouldn't have hurt me. We still hadn't spoken yet, but we'd spent the past few days since the coffee drop continuing our cat-and-mouse game.
