He walked backward for a moment before twisting and heading out of the roped area opposite of the crew. I put his card in my pocket and searched for my ear buds and MP3 player. I didn’t want to talk to the people who had forgotten all about me. I’d had more of a conversation with a stranger than I’d had with them for the previous hour.
I found them in the zippered pocket and stuck them in quick, turning PINK on full blast and clipping in on my sweater. I moved to my group warily, watching them while PINK shouted in my ears about not feeling less than perfect. They were all wearing carefully blank faces. They must have gotten pretty darn far to look like that.
When I stepped outside the rope, I took a bud out so I talked normally, not screamed, and stated, “I have no clue where I’m going. So lead the way.” I put the bud back in and gestured for them to move along.
When Brent opened his mouth to speak – even though I never would have heard him over my music – I suddenly found my purse interesting, looking into it and finding my ticket I had stashed there. By the time I glanced up, they were moving. Good. They got the friggin’ point.
***
I wasstuck in a seat between a squalling infant sitting on an exhausted moms lap and a guy that was snoring before everyone had even taken their seats. The “crew” were sitting in first class – which was full – and Ally was sitting somewhere ahead of me. And I was scared out of my mind.
I had kept my cool up until this point, but flying had always frightened me. The thought of being suspended in the air, nothing below, didn’t do anything for me, other than freak me the heck out. My seatbelt was already buckled and my purse was under the seat in front of me and my duffle had been put in the overhead compartment by the flight attendant. I was set to go. And didn’t really want to. Driving seemed like a much better idea right now.
I closed my eyes.
I only opened them to listen devotedly to the flight attendant when she went through her spiel about floatation devices and masks falling from above. And to my utter joy - so not - I found out I was in the aisle for the emergency door. I gawked at it. It just didn’t seem right to have a door that actually opens on anairplaneless than two feet away from me. Shouldn’t that be against flying law or something?
My eyes stayed shut when the plane started moving. And when they kept taking turns, way too sharply, in my opinion, my teeth clenched. The real kicker was when the elusive “captain” – I sure as heck never saw him - said they were clear for lift off. I freaked.
I raised my hand. I wanted off this darn death trap. It just wasn’tright.
No one came, so I pressed the call button the kind flight attendant had mentioned. It didn’t light up.What?Where parts of the plane malfunctioning? I mean if a little button didn’twork, who’s to say the larger – more important – parts would? Oh, Lord.
It was too late.
We startedmoving.
I was thrust back into my seat as the plane sped faster and faster. The nose tipped up.Oh. My. Goodness.The tail end left the ground.Holy. Crap. On. A. Stick!
I squeezed my eyes shut and asked the good Lord to watch over me. Amen and thank you in advance.
Chapter Eight
I WAS pretty sure Iwas going to puke and it sure as heck wasn’t from any residual alcohol in my system. If anything, that may have actually helped. We had landed and were taxying to the terminal now. I had never felt anything like when the airplane had set its wheels down.
The overpowering, gutturalWHRHRHR!filling the cabin when a small part of the wings moved, slowing us, and the sensation of teetering and bouncing too much hadn’t even been the worst part. What really freaked me was the sheer power pulling me forward, with such force, that I had to brace my feet on the floor, hands strangling the armrests, and push back with all my might to keep from being propelled headfirst. Sure, there was a seatbelt, but it was on alap belt. Shouldn’t these death traps be equipment with shoulder harnesses, too? I think I would write a letter.
When the darned airplane finally stopped for good, I was a shaking mess. I’m not sure, but I think I passed out a few times while we had been up in the Heavens. It hadn’t been the smoothest ride – normal turbulence the flight attendant had assured me six times - and there had been actual crazies who had ignored the continual dinging seatbelt light towalk up and down the aisleso they could use the facilities.
The seatbelt light went off.
I kept mine on.
The infant beside me had finally crashed during the flight. She had sobbed for a half hour straight before she had eventually shut her baby eyes. I had felt her pain, wishing I could have done the same. She was stirring now as everyone in the aisle seats lurched to their feet.
I sat there trembling, waiting for my turn to get up.
I waited.
And waited.
Then, waited some more.
How long does it take to get off this infernal thing?
Long, oh so long, minutes later, it was my turn. My hands fumbled at my seatbelt, finally getting it unlatched. The mom and daughter both seemed to scowl at me. I mumbled an apology and reached for my bag. Cripes, I couldn’t even skim it with my fingers it was so darn high.
A man sighed behind me and yanked it down. I stumbled backward with it in my arms, murmuring, “Thank you.” And rushed down the aisle at fast as I could without actually running.
