“Absolutely not. You’ll thank me here in a moment.” And sheshovedme down onto a chair under the shade of a tree and pointed straight at my face. “Do not move from there.”
I snorted. “Or what? You do know who I am.”
The caster turned her head to the side and called out, “Babycakes, come here!”
Then…Iscreamedbloody murder.
Fucking Fae!An alligator made up of only bones glided across the grass faster than a snake. It snapped its jaws at me when it stopped right at my feet, not touching my body only because the caster grabbed it around its neck. It kept snapping at me, its sharp teeth ready for blood.
I scrambled to yank my feet up onto the chair and waggled a finger at the beast, shrieking, “What in the Fae fuck is that?”
“This is Babycakes.” She patted its skull like a Fae damned pet. “He watches the grounds here. You’re fortunate you found me before he found you.”
Holding my hands up in supplication, I stated quickly. “I’ll keep sitting here. You can tell…Babycakes…that I’m friendly. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Give me your word,” the cracked caster ordered.
I stared at the woman like she had lost her marbles. Truly, who the fuck did she think she was?But, she was keeping the walking dead from eating me right now.
“You have my word I will not leave this chair until you say it’s safe to do so.” I pointed at the alligator. “Now, tell it I’m not the enemy.”
She nodded happily. “Thank you.” Then she looked down at the creature made of bones and ordered, “Babycakes, do not harm Princess Trixie. She is a friend of Queen Mikko’s.”
Instantly,itsettled down.
And…
Babycakes started panting and wagging its bony tail.
The caster rubbed his skull again. “He’s not so horrible now, is he, Your Highness?”
I snorted softly and gradually lowered my feet back to the ground. With careful movements, I leaned forward and placed my face in front of it, and studied this creature. “I have never seen anything like this before in my life. Whatisit?”
“As I said before, he guards the grounds. He was born here and died here. Babycakes’ bones are spelled to guard his land.”
“Huh.” I lifted my right hand and cautiously patted his skull head. “All right. You’re doing a fine job there, boy.”
His tail wagged even faster.
“So odd,” I murmured and sat back quickly when my head started to spin. I stared up at the setting sun, the sky rolling like the waves on the ocean. “Um…I think I understand now.”
The caster snickered softly. “It will get better. Trust me.”
I lifted my hand in front of my face and watched it shimmer and sparkle. My speech slurred as I spoke. “My father is not going to think this amusing when he finds me.”
“And I will make sure I am gone at that point in time.”
I waved my hand back and forth in front of my eyes. “What exactly did I smoke?”
“I call it a drug.” Her voice wavered in and out of existence, almost matching the song the ground was chanting at me. “It is potent. But you didn’t smoke much. You will be fine in an hour.”
“Is that the air I feel?” I shivered at the sensation. “It is like puffy candy against my skin.”
“I think that’s just your clothes.” She laughed loud and long. “I believe it is fine to now tell you that it is safe to leave that chair. Good day to you, Your Highness.”
Thecrunchof grass under her shoes and Babycakes’ bony feet tickled my nose as they strolled away from me.
“Okay. Farewell.” I waved grandly into the air at their wavering backs. “May you have a blessed day with your fine drugs.”
