“Are you looking to take a bath, or are you looking to relieve yourself?” I asked.
“I have to pee, lady. I really gotta pee.”
“The loo is out the backdoor, about one hundred feet back. There will be a path.”
“Seriously? Even this close to a big city, you’re still peeing in wooden boxes?”
“What else would you have us do?” I asked, twisting my lip. “Bedpans are gross enough.”
“Toilets? Water closets? Something you flush?”
I realized what she was talking about. “We don’t have those here, yet. I’m sure we will soon enough.”
“You don’t…?” The queen let out a rough huff. “Fine. Just tell me there’s paper to wipe with out there?”
“We aren’t savages, Your Highness.”
She snorted and turned out of the room, letting the door close.
I giggled. She was a strange one.
The door popped back open. “Do you have a flashlight? It’s dark out there, and I don’t know your wildlife.”
“Our most dangerous birds are safely flightless.”
“I… Jesus.”
Walking to the table, I grabbed a lantern. “Come on, Your Highness. I’ll guide you to the loo.”
I flicked the light on with a touch of power when we reached the stairs. I led her down the three flights to the door that led to the outside of the inn.
“You don’t have any crazy animals?” she asked, staying extremely close to me.
“We have several venomous snakes in the south, the iruki birds, but they are on an island. We have a large rodent that has a bad habit of going senile if it gets too old, the pamada, but they live in the forest. There are golodorol, but they live on the plains. Sort of massive cows that can stampede.” I paused. “There is always the rigali.”
“What are they?”
“Hmm. Long spindly legs, but completely clumsy. They have been known to fall over and crush their own young. They kind of look like someone took a horse and stretched it but swapped out the head for a rabbit’s.”
“Damn, this place is weird.”
I chuckled, holding up the lantern to show her the little house. “We’re here.”
She pulled the door open and started smacking the wall on the one side. She grunted and smacked the wall on the other side. “Where the hell is the light?”
“I just conjure one, usually,” I answered and held out the lantern. “But a lot of people use this.”
She grabbed it and hauled herself inside.
“Would you like me to wait, Your Highness?”
“I’ll be fine,” she called out. “And stop calling me that. I’m Gwen.”
“Kimber,” I answered. “I’d shake your hand, but… ew.”
I heard her chuckle.
“I’m going to head back in, Your—Gwen. Good luck.”
