“Kimber, what have we done?” Rilen asked. “Please, help us understand,ilati.”
“You are all not talkingtomeaboutme. You’re not being open and trustworthy.”
Roran sighed. “We have kept secrets—”
Rilen stared across me and slashed his hand through the air. “Roran, shut up. Please, shut up. This is important.”
Roran’s jaw snapped closed, and he looked fairly admonished. He took my hand in apology but said nothing.
Rilen looked back at me. “I don’t understand. What aren't we truthful about?”
“I see the looks you toss at each other over my head when we talk, or when I say something, or when you tell me,once againthat I can’t take the shield or go on the raid. Do you think I’m stupid? Blind? Just a simple schoolmarm?”
“None of those,ilati,” Roran said quietly.
“Then what is going on? You have to realize I’m not in a good place to play head games. We had to kill my last bedmate so S’Kir didn’t die. That does things to a woman.”
“Makes her untrusting?” Rilen asked.
I nodded. “For starters. And then add in all these secret looks and non-verbal discussions…”
Roran ran his thumb over my knuckles. “This has been so much for you,ilati. We have been worried.”
I snorted. “And you think I haven’t?”
Rilen sighed. “We were trying to protect you.”
“You took me out to a secret meeting of rebels, and I watchedand helpedyou behead them.”
Roran opened his mouth to say something but reconsidered. “We knew you wouldn’t believe us.”
“And you could let me watch Dorian fuck my former lover in the ass and snap his neck?”
Roran cocked his head. “Well. . . that’s a good point.”
“But you won’t talk to me about what you think might be wrong with me?”
They stopped, and I took a few more steps to stand in front of them. I took a deep breath and turned to pin them both with my stare. “I am Mistress Kimber Raven of the Temple of the Lost God. I am the Breaker of the Spine. I am the Healer of S’Kir. I am not a simple woman. I am not a fool, nor stupid or ignorant. If you wish to continue to bed me, you will not hide your concerns about me or about anyone else who shares that space. If I cannot trust you three, I cannot trust anyone. Am I understood?”
Roran got it first and nodded. “Yes. Of course. We excluded you from important conversations about you. Which isn’t right.”
Rilen’s nod followed. “Yes, I get it. You do understand that this came from a place of worry.”
“Guys. No one worries about this more than I do. It’sme.It’s my life. So, of course, I’m worried.” I folded my arms. “What is the basis of your worry?”
Rilen started. “Despite the fact that you have brought down the Spine…”
“…it feels like something is missing in your magic,” Roran concluded.
“It has since you came out of the cave,” Rilen confessed. “Since we came out of the cave.”
“It’s like there’s a missing piece of the puzzle. It’s not dangerous, but it’s holding you back from really taking possession of the title of Healer of S’Kir,” Roran said.
“We can get you all the way to amazing heights of power, but we’re not sure that you can use it all. There’s just something…missing.”
My breath escaped my chest in a rush. “I know. I feel it too. I’m not really mad that I can’t take my turn at the shield, but more atwhyI can’t take the turn.” I glanced between them. “Does everyone know?”
“All the masters can sense the missing piece.” Rilen nodded.
