“That’s not the kind of life advice people are going to seek from me.”
They were going to want to know if they should turn to one profession or the other. They would ask me to mediate their disputes.
And magic. They would ask me to help with magic.
That was my real weakness. I was a poor magic worker. I wasnotstrong.
This was all wrong. I shouldn’t be named to the council. I had hundreds of years of learning to do yet. This was pure insanity.
“Can’t you talk to them? Make them see you don’t feel you’re ready or right for this?”
That mirthless chuckle bubbled up from me this time. “Oh, Jallina. You’ve been around them a few times. You’ve felt the power rolling off them. There’s no arguing with them. There’s no talking them out of anything.”
“Especially Master Dorian.”
“Sweet heaven, especially that man.”
The coffee shop was mostly empty by then, and the reason I’d asked Jallina there needed no audience or prying eyes.
I took another sip of coffee and lowered my voice. “Jallina, I need your help.”
She bobbed her head. “Of course. Anything.”
“No, this isn’t a blanket ‘of course.’ Don’t say that until you hear me out.” I kept my voice quiet. “I need your help on a more sinister level. I’m learning things I didn’t want to, and I need help.”
Jallina laid a hand on mine. “Good, bad, sinister. I am your friend, Kimber. I’m an ally of the temple.”
“Elex had me thinking the other night. About how I really don’t know much about the people in S’Kir or what they think and do. I’ve been in the temple so long that I feel as though… Well, I don’t know people. They’re about to make me a master, and I’m unprepared. In so many ways. But I can find out what the people think. Of me, or Master Dorian, of the opposition, of most things. You and your sister are already in with the Loyalists, and we often chat enough that us being seen together would raise no suspicions.” I paused, then finished. “I want to create a little personal spy ring.”
Jallina’s eyes lit from within. “Really.”
“Yes, really.” I tried to hide my smirk. “You could try to be less happy about this. I’m asking you to be a spy.”
Her answer was a whisper. “I already am.” She grinned. “That you’re asking me to help you is what I hoped for. Where did you get the idea to have a little spy network?”
Averting my eyes, I rubbed my neck. “I’ve been reading, of course. There are some interesting novels out there, about high ranked people using spy networks. I just thought…”
Jallina touched my hand. “You thought right. Let’s talk about this—there’s a lot a future master needs to know about the people she’ll be guiding and the spies she can and cannot trust…”
* * *
The sun was setting, but warm fingers of its dying light couldn’t touch me.
I was so cold.
Every ounce in my frigid veins was nothing but fear. I didn’t know how to stop being afraid.
Sobs tore from me once in a while. I tried to rein them in, but more and more, I was overwhelmed by everything.
I didn’t want this. Not one bit of it.
I wanted Danai alive, and I wanted my apartment back. I wanted just to go to class tomorrow morning and scold Griffin for being a little craphead to his classmates.
Instead, when the sun rose tomorrow, I would take the robes of a master.
Warm arms slipped around me, and I felt myself resting against Elex’s chest. Finally, some of the cold that had held on tight started to let go.
“I’m sorry, Kimber,” he whispered.
