He sucked a breath in through his teeth.
My words were harsh, but it was how I dealt with the anger that remained from their deaths.
“You’ve never come back?”
“What reason would I have? I can swim in the river or in the southern sea.”
I saw the marina where my father hand launched our boat from as the train passed by it, pulling closer to the station.
I still had their boat docked somewhere in that marina.
My stomach roiled.
“Elex, I’m not getting off this train. I’m not. I don’t want to be here.”
“I’m sorry, my sweet. This was a bad idea.”
I shook my head. “This isn’t your fault. They were young when they died. Younger than we are now.”
“You were not a child.”
“No, but it wasn’t fair and it—”
The words got caught in my throat. I didn’t want to throw up, but I was getting close.
“Do you remember the accident?”
The train track turned, and the sun flashed in my eyes, making me cringe. I didn’t want to remember that day, not today, not ever.
“It’s just a stupid story. Take me home. I’ll read about it there.”
Clearly disappointed, Elex drooped into his seat. “As you wish, Kimber. I was just hoping…”
“I was on the boat when they died, Elex.”
He swiveled around in the seat. “What?”
“I was on the boat when they died. I was in the accident too.”
“I didn’t know that.”
I nodded slowly. “Most people assume that I was sitting on the beach with my nose in a book. But I wasn’t. I was on the boat with them. I loved sailing.”
I froze.
I had loved sailing. Why had I not remembered that until just now? Why was so angry at the boat? The boat did what it was supposed—
Oh.
Gods.
I grabbed Elex’s forearm with my other arm.
“The boat did what it was supposed to, Elex. It kept me above the water. But my father died making sure I was on the boat, making sure I could get my hands on the topside.”
His eyes searched my face. “Go on.”
The blue ocean flashed in the corner of my vision, and again, it was like someone unlocking vaults deep in my brain.
