Blunt. “No. I don’t.” Because, really I didn’t.
Ember nodded. “Honestly, there are so many fucking things…” She made a frustrated sound in her throat. “I don’t even know where to begin.”
When she didn’t say anything else, I shrugged. “Start at the beginning.”
And…fuck me…if she didn’t start at the beginning.
Theverybeginning.
Like from when she was a little girl first meeting Brent. Her relationship with Brent and a woman named Ally. Abuse from her father. Her ability to read people from said abuse. When she ran from her home to New York, hoping and praying Brent still wanted her. How she met Cole. Then when she fell in love with Brent and Cole. Her run from them.
Meeting Daniil’s kids, which she called theDonnallys. Her instant friendship with Grigori. The twin’s birth. The time she spent with them—three years—on the outskirts of Vegas. Then, Brent and Cole finding her and bringing her back to New York.
And then…Jesus…her and Zane’s kidnapping.
What had happened to her…
Brent and Cole rescuing her. Her recovery back to sanity. Brent and Cole leaving for a mission. And dying.
Her heart with them.
How she and Grigori had first started seeing one another privately. The friendship. The bond. Their connection.
Someone from Brent, Cole, Zane, and Stash’s past resurfaced…which I found out I had been used as a pawn by this individual with four stories I had written. And the ‘numbness’—like my feet—that she had experienced when Grigori left her to protect his brothers and sister. But he had come back…and everything had been all right again, the numbness gone.
She told me of the harm my articles had caused revealing Grigori. I didn’t say anything as she spoke factually, almost as if she didn’t want to hurt my feelings but sensed it needed to be said. It was a part of her life’s story. Grigori being hurt in Russia when he left to take care of somebusiness.And the utter fear that had consumed her when no one told her anything.
“I thought I had lost him,” her voice cracked. “I…” She sucked in a sharp breath. “But he was fine. He came home to New York. Everything was wonderful. Life was peaceful. A real first for me. Ever.” She cleared her throat. “Then Brent and Cole came back. From thedead. Just walked into the house as if their initials were still on the door instead of Stash, Zane, and mine. And everything went to shit,” a rapid head shake, “and I didn’t know what to do. So, I did the only logical thing I could. I began seeing them again, the fathers of my children. The men I had loved with all of my heart, ending my time with Grigori the day they came back.” Her voice cracked. “Shit. It was all fucking shit.”
I stayed silent—more than a little shocked that she was sharing all this, but understanding it nonetheless—while she continued, her words getting more heated as she went. “It’s stupid because I see them almost every day at work, but I miss all of my friends over there. All that’s there is some grass and concrete—and maybe a gate or two—between this house and that one, but it feels like so much more. Like the big fucking divide. Them vs. Us. When, before Cole and Brent came back, we all got along great, but instead, we can’t even have fucking dinner together without fighting and people leaving. Instead of that being my haven, it’s now off limits to me.”
She shook her head. “I love Grigori. I do. But before, when we all lived together in Vegas, none of them ever spoke Russian. And now, they do it all the time. I can’t understand them. At all. It’s like watching one of those foreign films without the subtitles. If I weren’t as good at reading people as I am, then I probably wouldn’t understand a damn thing.” She shook her head, glancing at me. “I have no clue how you do it.” Her expression turned a little sheepish. “I may need some help, so I wouldn’t mind sharing my books with you if you would help me. I would ask Grigori, but I don’t want him…” She trailed off, but I got it. She wasn’t the weak sort, and she didn’t want him to think she was.
I nodded. “Yeah. I’d actually like that.”
Her gaze went a little freaky…and God, I realized that she was reading me…and she nodded once. “Thank you.” She sucked in a big breath and glanced back out the window. “And then, there was the time I spent dating Brent and Cole, do you know what I realized?” I shook my head, and she stated, “That Cole, the man I thought I had loved—which I had loved, seriously didn’t know a damn thing about me. He may have at one point, but he doesn’t get me now. Whether it was the fact he’s changed or I have, we just didn’t work together anymore.” She rested her hands on the windowpane, staring blindly out the window. “But Brent…Brent was…is…a different story. He and I have so much history together. And, to tell you the fucking truth of the matter, it still bothers me knowing he’s out there fucking someone else. Liar or not. He and I have the same roots.”
She swung an arm behind her, gesturing blindly at the room. “This. All of this pompous shit, I don’t give a fuck about. Yes, I grew up with money, but to tell you the truth, I’ve always hated it.” She pointed across the way. “And Brent still does. Like me. He may own a mansion, but he did so because he and his best friends wanted to live together and a pretentious house was needed for their business.” She sucked in a breath. “But Grigori…he’s rich…very, filthy fucking rich. Not as rich as Daniil.” She glanced at me. “Daniil’s damn near a billionaire, by the way.” I blinked, my head swimming at that little bomb, but she kept on. “And he didn’t tell me he was rich until recently. And the fact that he likes it. Likes having the best of everything.” She shook her head, stating, “His fucking showerhead and faucets are gold! Real fucking solid gold! Who the hell needs that?”
She growled a little, her hands fisting on the windowpane. “I should have known. I should have read it. But I didn’t. Somehow, that fucking little detail skipped me.” She growled again. “And now, I want a fucking baby.”
I didn’t think she should be doing anything so soon because she was so damn confused, and there was a part in her rant that had surprised me, so I asked, clarifying, “You picked Grigori, right?”
She nodded.
“So why does it bother you that Brent’s having sex with someone else?”
Her lips pursed, but she stated quietly, “Feelings and emotions just don’t disappear when you’ve known someone as long as he and I have known each other.”
Uh-oh. “Do you still love him?”
She nodded slowly. “I probably always will.”
My own lips pursed. “Does Grigori know this?”
Ember snorted, stating heatedly, “Let me tell you something about Grigori. He loved someone when he was young and lost him. The great love of his life died right in front of him with a horrible, painful death. And Grigori’s heart went with him.” She sounded fucking pissed. “So, to answer your question, Grigori’s not stupid. He knows that it will take some time for me to be over Brent completely. But, I knew who I wanted to be with. In the time Brent and Cole were ‘dead,’ I picked Grigori. And when they came back, despite all that I would have to give up and have to put up with now, I still picked Grigori.”
She thumped the glass, her voice getting a little shrill the faster she spoke, words just spewing out of her. “But who the fuck would he pick if his first love came back from the dead?” She shook her head rapidly. “I sure as fuck don’t think it would be me.” Her voice cracked, stating, “Jesus, I want to have his fucking baby, and anytime I even think about talking to him about it, it’s like he knows and he,” her hand motioned all over her face, “breaks out in a sweat and he looks like he’s going to puke. He doesn’t want to have kids with me. Do you,” she stopped mid-rant, sucking in a breath and glancing at me, “do you think it’s because it’s me…and nothim? Or just that he doesn’t want kids? I know I’m a little fucking weird, but I’m not that bad. He’s just as screwed up as I am.”
