Quickly, I wiped the blood from my face. Daniil took the gun from me, immediately wrapping his other arm around my waist. I didn’t realize I was shaking until I had something sturdy to hold onto. I kept my sight away from the bodies but really hoped I had served those who died for me well.
But that didn’t mean I could look at the dead bodies. I could only do so much.
I couldn’t hear a damn thing, but I felt Daniil’s chest vibrating against my head, so I looked up and saw him saying something to the guards. Finishing quickly—the guards were removing the bodies—Daniil looked down at me and took the handkerchief from my hand, and started wiping my face, getting the places I had missed. When he was done, his gaze darted all over my face, and then his eyes met mine. Perhaps it was sick of me, but I loved that I saw pride and tenderness in his gaze.
I was startled to hear cheers around the room with my name at the heart of them. I jumped as my hearing came back, turning in Daniil’s arms and peeking around him. My core was shaken, but it was even more rattled seeing his family—the ones who had remained in the room—standing and yelling with their fists in the air for what I had done. Wide-eyed, I turned my gaze back to Daniil, “What are they yelling?”
My ears still rang, but I heard him clearly when he said softly, “They’re welcoming you to the family.” He looked a little guilty. “When you kill your first…,” he paused, considering the word, “…traitor…you’re officially one of us.”
I blinked stupidly. My. God.
“You want me to sneak you out the hidden door?” he asked with a small smile lifting his lips, obviously gauging my reaction correctly.
I shook my head slowly. No. This was his family. I wouldn’t stay long, but I needed to be by Daniil’s side right now. Not because he needed me, but because I needed him. Taking someone’s life, even if justified, wasn’t a nerve-settling act. It was a gut-wrenching act that should never be taken lightly.
I clung to Daniil’s arm as he walked into the cheering people. I stayed there and accepted their hugs and kisses, but I couldn’t muster up a smile. I just nodded when I needed to and hoped I would be able to sleep tonight, and hoped I had made the right choice by choosing to do it myself.
Daniil handled my parents and aunts and uncles while I trudged up to bed after I had killed two people. Mary had been as somber as I was, staying by my side for most of the remainder of the evening as Daniil’s family proceeded to really get the party started after the corpses had been carried out. Inna…God, help her…she had hugged me the longest. Daniil had offered her a room here, and she accepted. I think she was now getting comfortable in the room across the hall from Eva.
My mom tried to talk with me, but I… I just didn’t want to discuss the finer details that she wanted to know. Her bloodthirsty eyes took in any little blood splatter I had missed or that had stained my outfit. I planned to burn this dress as soon as daylight broke tomorrow, and I wasn’t so weary. Dad only hugged me, saying I could talk to him anytime I needed to, a little of the preacher peeking out in him.
After that, I left, my ten bodyguards following me. I still hadn’t formally greeted them. I understood now why Daniil rarely ever talked with his. If you do, you become personally invested in them, and you feel responsible for them when they are there to take the bullet for you, not the other way around. One day, I knew I would break down and talk with them. If they were offering up their lives for me, it was the least I could do.
I merely needed a little more time.
I shut the door to our room, seeing the guards take up their stance around the door before closing it, and made my way through the living room into our bedroom. I was tempted to fall headlong into bed, but I wanted the dress off. I stripped, dropping the dress to the floor after ripping the damn thing to get it off. Yanking open the door to the dresser, I had to steady the picture frame on top of it because I jerked it too hard, pulling out a thin cotton nightgown that I had bought for my biggest days to come, wanting something comfortable. I tore off my bra and underwear, putting on the nightgown. And stopped, staring at the dress and undergarments on the floor that was soiled with my kidnapper's blood.
I rushed to the toilet and promptly puked up my guts.
And I sobbed over the toilet.
I was no hardened killer. Their faces flashed in front of me, but at the same time, six others took their place. And then, my own personal Hell flashed in front of my eyes.
I caught myself singing as I cried.
I shut my mouth immediately, knowing I was a little fucked in the head.
Time. I just needed to give it a little time. Their deaths and my own ordeal had been eradicated. Now, I only needed to heal like I had been doing.
I took a shuddering breath in, and wiped my face off, flushing the toilet and standing. I brushed my teeth and washed my face in the sink, and then glanced up at myself in the mirror. My dripping face in the mirror was pale and terrified. I hoped I hadn’t looked like this while his family had been congratulating me. But who knows. Maybe this was how most people looked after offing someone.
I blinked, my eyes focusing, and noticed what was behind me in the mirror.
Or more like someone was behind me.
I shouted, and jerked around, wiping my face off as I stumbled out of the bathroom.
In the shower, I could have sworn I had seen hair peeking out from behind the wall.
And…my cousin, Katie, stepped out of the shower, following me into the bedroom.
My heart slowed down, and I asked, “Katie, what are you doing in here? You scared the shit out of me!” I wiped my face off, flicking the water away. “What the hell?”
I rubbed my eyes when she didn’t respond.
My brows snapped together when her right hand lifted. Holding a gun.
I froze, asking slowly, “Why do you have a gun, Katie?” I tore my eyes away from the weapon to look at her face. My attention stayed trapped there. “Katie, what are you doing?”
