Her chin came up ever so slightly, a quick flash of temper at being told what t do. “I always do, Adrian. But I thank you for your concern.”
And that was it. He’d been dismissed. As he’d always dismissed her. It stung more than a little.
Chapter
Three
Eleanor had managed, only just, to put the previous evening’s embarrassment behind her. Mostly because she couldn’t bear to think of it. Her face heated with the humiliating memory. She busied herself with other things and refused to dwell on something she could not change. It was an exercise in will, and when it came to being willful, she’d certainly set a high mark for herself.
Oh, but she disliked being the center of attention. It was one thing to receive a compliment, to be admired for some accomplishment or attribute. It was quite another to make a spectacle of one’s self in front of an entire ballroom full of people. She shuddered at the memory and at the horrid feeling of being conspicuous for the worst possible reason. She’d managed to navigate the entirety of her years amongstthe Tonwithout making a cake of herself. Until now. And not only had she fainted like a complete ninny, her disgrace had been witnessed by Adrian of all people. As if the humiliation wasn’t complete enough already.
Entering the morning room, she found Charlotte already there waiting for her, all but vibrating with anticipation. And shecould tell from the way her friend perched on the very tip edge of her seat that she was bursting at the seams with questions.
“Has he arrived? He will call today, won’t he? He certainly said he would, and I must say, Ellie, that his demeanor was far more than just a concerned bystander. I do believe his lordship was quite taken with you!” All of this was uttered in a way that the words ran together in one long sequence with hardly a pause for breath.
“And if he’s in the foyer, he will have heard every impertinent question you just asked,” Eleanor pointed out with a raised eyebrow and a slight twist of her lips She was amused by Charlotte but also more than a little embarrassed. What if Lord Markylnne were to arrive and find them discussing him in such a way? No, she thought, one humiliating event was her limit for the foreseeable duration. “But to answer your question, no. Lord Marklynne has not yet paid a call. Having expressed the intent and being a gentleman of such a chivalrous nature, I can only surmise that he will do as he said but I cannot ascertain when.”
Charlotte’s eyes narrowed in mock reproach. “Oh, if you wind up married before I am, whenWilliam has been courting me for years, I will be quite cross with you… Well, not really. Slightly perturbed, I suppose. But giddy for you all the same.”
“That’s a bit of a leap, isn’t it? We were only just introduced last night. And even then, it was hardly under auspicious circumstances,” Eleanor teased, her amusement at her friend’s vivid imaginings impossible to suppress. Of course, Charlotte—hopeless romantic that she was—would have them already married off when they’d said not much more than a few words to one another. “Will he propose today, you think? Or give it at least a sennight for propriety’s sake?”
Charlotte’s face primped into a pretty pout, her cupid’s bow shaped lips puckering. But then everything Charlotte did was pretty. It was impossible for her to do or be otherwise. Charlottepossessed the sort of beauty one wanted to hate her for, and would have, had she not been so impossibly sweet and kind. “Oh, I know you’re teasing me, but he was! He was quit taken with you. I would swear upon it?”
“What is it that you’re swearing on, Miss Ashworth?”
Eleanor bit the inside of her cheek, annoyance surging anew. Her cheeks flushed, but not with embarrassment. It seemed that, anymore, his very presence was enough to perturb her. Or perhaps she was simply perturbed all the time. She disliked it when he ignored her and she disliked it equally when he was attentive.Because it would never be the sort of attention she truly desired from him.“Really, Adrian? Do you not have a home of your own?”
“Several it would seem,” he replied matter of factly as he crossed his arms over his chest, emphasizing the breadth of his shoulders and the athleticism of his lean frame. “As of late, that is. Now, do tell me what you were discussing with such… animation?”
“Lord Marklynne,” Charlotte supplied, cheerfully oblivious to the undercurrent of tension between them. As always, she was ever helpful and completely lacking in guile. “I am convinced that he was quite taken with Eleanor last night. And I think she should encourage him accordingly…. It would be a very good match.”
“And I say that you are putting the cart before the horse. An entire fleet of carts, perhaps…. Or would that be an armada? ” It went against her nature to speculate so wildly on something when her very dignity was on the line. It wasn’t that she didn’t think he could be taken with her, or that she didn’t necessarily want him to be taken with her. The standard of behavior for her was simply not to let herself have hopes founded on so little. Perhaps if he did come to call, perhaps if his interest at that call was as pointed as Charlotte seemed to think it had beenthe previous night—then maybe she would permit herself to entertain hopes.
“We know nothing about the man,” Adrian stated flatly, his expression mirroring his singularly unimpressed tone. There was an unfamiliar hardness to his demeanor, something quite different from his normally lackadaisical attitude. “He could have a betrothed already. He might be penniless. An adventurer. I’d never even heard of the man before last night.”
“And you know every peer? All of them?” Eleanor countered, watching as a flush crept up his face. Embarrassment or anger? If she didn’t know better, she’d think he was jealous. But the very notion was ridiculous.
“You sound more like her brother than her actual brother does,” Charlotte pointed out, her voice more teasing than reproachful.
“Yes. And last I checked, Mr. Grant, you had no authority over me… not my hopes, wishes, fancies or foolishness. I will entertain notions if I choose to entertain notions. Is it truly so incomprehensible to you that the man might have a romantic interest in me? Simply because you’ve never seen me as anything more worthy of note than a stick of a furniture or a potted palm does not signify that others share your complete indifference… no. Not even indifference. Disregard.” By the time she reached the end of her diatribe, she was fuming. Years worth of anger had been building up inside her, it seemed. Clearly she had reached her fill.
He blinked, clearly taken aback by her unusual show of temper. It was his only outward response. And that stillness made her feel foolish. Foolish and strangely vulnerable, as if she’d revealed too much of herself. She was never one to be silent in her anger, but she rarely gave it full voice either.
“Eleanor, that is not what I meant at all,” he said, breaking the silence that had fallen with a note of contrition.
“No. But it is what you said. And that carries far more weight… Excuse me, won’t you, Charlotte? I have a task that needs tending to immediately.” She didn’t wait for him to respond. She simply walked way, exiting quickly in a flounce of her skirts.
Charlotte rose then, quickly falling into step behind her as if recognizing that this was beyond their normal spats and disagreements. “I’ll join you.”
Adrian weatheredthe icy stare directed at him by Miss Ashworth as the pair of them vacated the room. And then he was alone. Abandoned in the morning room to linger in the wreckage he’d created by being an utter idiot. Though, in truth, he hadn’t said anything that wasn’t true. Why Eleanor would have thought he was implying she lacked the necessary charms to draw the attention of a gentleman he couldn’t fathom. But he felt terrible for having blundered it, even if he was not entirely certain what he’d blundered or how. He wasn’t there to court Eleanor, for Pete’s sake. He was simply there to visit his friends. As he did nearly every day. For as long as he could recall, he’d made free with their home and always been welcomed. Never before had he felt as though he were intruding. It was exactly the sort of thing he’d always feared, that things would be irrevocably altered if he were to behave outwardly as if he had any notions of Eleanor as anything other than a sisterly figure in his life. But it was quite clear that something had shifted between them.
What had she meant when she said ‘indifference’ or ‘disregard’? Did she truly think he saw her as something so meaningless and unimportant as the blasted furnishings? And even if that were true, did she think him cruel enough to say so?
But he’d never made any sort of effort or overture to let her know that he thought otherwise. In truth, he wasn’t quite sure he’d ever considered it himself.Until someone else showed interest in her.That part of her accusation had landed heavily because there was an element of truth in it. Marklynne’s interest might have forced him to take a closer look at his feelings but it hadn’t prompted the inception of those feelings. He didn’t think. Hell, he didn’t know! He’d spent so much time and energy trying not to have feelings for her that he’d never stopped to examine what those feelings were, until suddenly faced with the prospect of no longer having the opportunity to do so.
It was all so much less confusing when Eleanor had just been Eleanor. When they’d all been friends and no third parties had entered the equation. The three of them had always been together, orphans the lot of them. Having lost their respective parents at early ages and with little to no other family to speak of, they’d formed a fast and steady bond. If Eleanor married she would, barring unusual circumstances, leave her brother’s home. And that would mean he would not see her daily. He would not speak to her daily. That lack loomed over him, heavy and dreadful. And it was very likely that, if she married, her prospective husband would be unlikely to welcome her having friendships with other men. Certainly not in the way that they currently interacted with such casual ease. Or had interacted. He very much feared that this one incident might change everything going forward. And he disliked change immensely. He disliked having his life, dull as it was, disrupted by the chaos of emotion.
If there was one thing he knew, change was inevitable. But if that change meant losing Eleanor, then all the reasons that he’d ever ticked off in the past for not considering courting her became moot. The idea of ruining his friendship with her or with Julien had always stayed his hand. So what was stopping himnow? Now when decisive action would need to be taken or the field forfeited entirely.
