Maggie: I bet Kip was jealous.
Dermot: He was, truly. It’s hard not having thumbs.
Maggie: I can’t imagine. I love my thumbs.
Dermot: They’re needed for lots of things. A thumbs-up.
Maggie: Hitchhiking.
Dermot: For thumbprints.
Maggie: For wrapping gum around.
Dermot: ? Really? I wrap mine around my forefinger.
Maggie: Jeez, Dermot, you’re doing it all wrong.
Dermot: Damn, you’ll need to show me.
Maggie: Done.
Maggie: Dermot?
Dermot: Yes?
Maggie: Thank you for the flowers. They made my day.
Dermot: That was my goal.
Maggie: <3
Monday, 3:30 p.m.
Maggie: How was your morning?
Dermot: Kid puked on me, an older gentleman bent over and showed me his butthole without even a damn warning, and Tenille yelled at me for being on my phone.
Maggie: Oh no. Were you texting someone?
Dermot: Yeah, but she’s worth getting yelled at for.
Maggie: He-he.
Maggie: Sorry you had to see an old man’s butthole.
Dermot: It’s okay. When I left the room, I had a text from this really hot chick eating a mozzarella stick.
Maggie: Dermot! You have to go to the bar and get these sticks! They’re so good!
Dermot: Yeah, I need to.
Tuesday,8:23 a.m.
Dermot: Have a great morning.
Maggie: You too! No buttholes today!
Dermot: As much as I hope you’re right, I’m not naïve.
