‘Oh. I didn’t think . . . ’ Ella paused. ‘I mean, is Devon going back to London, then?’
Marina looked a little disgruntled and gave Ella a narrow-eyed appraisal.
‘Well, of course he is. I guess in a village everyone knows his business.’ She hiked up the wattage on her smile. ‘But Devon and I make a great team. His dad’s on the mend. There’s no reason for him to be out here any more and he’s desperate to get cracking with the new kit.’ Then her face softened, and she put out a hand to touch Ella’s arm. ‘He’s a good man. I didn’t . . . ’ her voice hitched with a slight indrawn sob, ‘I made a terrible mistake. You probably know we’ve had our issues.’
Ella swallowed. She didn’t want to hear this. Marina couldn’t be human or nice or heartbroken.
‘Do you know, I’d do anything, anything to undo what I did. Devon’s so proud.’
Yeah, Ella knew that. It ought to be his bloody middle name.
‘But I think in time, he will forgive me. It’s going to take a lot on my part to show him that he can trust me again. But do you know what, he’s worth it.’ Her eyes blazed with determination. ‘I love that man. I’m not going to let him down again.’
Inside her chest, Ella’s heart clenched. Watching Marina and Devon working seamlessly together to save Tess had been a real eye-opener. Marina had seemed to pre-empt each of Devon’s requests. Whereas Tess could have died because of Ella’s carelessness. Devon must think she was a complete idiot, she’d messed up with Tess so many times.
She didn’t belong here, but after seeing Patrick she felt even more at sea. What was she going to do when her six months were up? And what would she do if Tess died? She felt sick at the thought.
Chapter Thirty-One
She stumped across the green, wanting to feel the thump, thump of Tess’s tail against her leg and to have to slow her pace when Tess sniffed at every gatepost along the path.
Without Tess’s bustle and fuss, the cottage seemed hauntingly silent, except when Ella listened she could hear the creaks, taps and ticks of the house, the hot water pipes from the boiler in the kitchen expanding, the broken latch on the bathroom window lifting and rubbing in the early evening breeze and the familiar click of the wood of the bedroom door as it cooled down after a day in the sunshine.
She wandered into the kitchen, did a circuit but was too listless to tackle the small pile of washing-up. The empty coffee cups she and Patrick had used earlier sat on the side along with a breadboard full of crumbs. Breakfast seemed a lifetime ago. The nerves of public appearance long forgotten. With a shake of her head, she paused before walking back into the hall.
She couldn’t face going up to the studio, there was no way she could even think about doing any work.
Drawn to the door, she unlatched it, slipped out into the garden and went to sit down on the stone bench, her ears pricked ready for the sound of her mobile. Summer was just around the corner. She could paint the reservoir in summer under brilliant blue sky with sunlight as streaks of gold on the water.Please God, let Tess be all right. It was impossible to imagine making her way along the footpaths at the edge of the water without Tess crossing and doubling back in front of her. Her tail just visible waving through the undergrowth. Or Devonaccompanying them. Which was stupid, because like he’d said, this was temporary. Always had been. It shouldn’t matter that Marina was back on the scene or that he might go back to her. He was never staying anyway. But it did.
Ella swallowed and focused on the petals of the blousy lilacs as the light breeze caught them, ruffling the edges. She lifted her feet onto the bench and clutched her knees to her chest.
What a day. Funny, why was it the things you didn’t know you wanted that made the strongest impression? The baby. Tess. Devon.
Thinking about the baby brought with it that deep-rooted pull tugging low in her belly but it was less insistent. The sense of loss was still there but not so overwhelming. It didn’t blanket her thoughts in grey any more.
Tess couldn’t die. Devon wouldn’t let her. With bone-deep certainty, she knew he would save her. He just would.
Devon. Friend. Rescuer. Always there when she needed him, even when she didn’t know she needed him. His image came easily; she could almost smell the outdoor woodsy scent she associated with him, the slow serious smile and that unruly hair lifting in the wind, flipping over his face up on Ivinghoe Beacon. That steady, sexy masculinity that made all her hormones sit up to attention whenever he was in the vicinity. Her skin prickled at the memory of his kisses.
Where Tess was concerned, he wouldn’t let her down. Where her heart was concerned, she wasn’t so sure.
Magda’s lavender bags had no effect that night and despite the relief of Bets’ text to say that Tess was stable and snoring gently, Ella didn’t get much sleep. Leaving Tess behind had been as hard as seeing Marina laying her perfectly manicured hands on Devon’s sleeve and cooing up at him.
After fitful sleep, she got up early, checking her phone for any more news.
Nothing. She went up to the studio but couldn’t bring herself to pick up her brushes. She checked her phone. Still nothing.
She returned to the kitchen. Cleaned the sink. Wiped down the cupboards, removing a pawprint from one of the doors. Checked her phone again. Exasperated with herself, she pulled out the broom to sweep the floor. As she rounded up the dark dog hair, it only reinforced the emptiness of the house. Eventually, after several aimless circuits of the cottage, she gravitated to her favourite spot in the garden for her morning cup of tea. Looking up at the sky, she took a deep breath. This was crazy, but she needed all the help she could get. She pulled the blue envelope which she’d snatched from the pinboard from her pocket and quietly spoke the words, glancing about to make sure no one was about.
Under Spring’s awakening gaze
Breathe Earth’s bountiful fragrances
Enjoy slow lengthening days
Find peace among the blossom
the warmth of deepening rays
