‘Might have had a sneaky peek through the window on my way out.’
‘Please tell me you didn’t.’
‘Oh, I did.’ His mouth twisted in a teasing smile. ‘You both looked like you were having a great time. Was she OK?’
Ella exchanged a sad smile with him. ‘She’s really unhappy, isn’t she?’
‘Yeah, but very good at putting on a brave face. The happier and more exuberant she is, the more she’s trying to hide.’
‘I thought as much. Her and Jack, they’re very young, I guess.’
‘Yup. Too young, although for all that, I always thought they fit well. I believed they might make it through, but what do I know. I thought I’d got it all sussed and the happy-ever-after in sight.’ The bleak look was back on his face.
‘Did it not go well at the bank today?’
‘How did you guess?’
‘Because if it had you would have said something and the fact that you haven’t is probably to do with Bets being unhappy and not wanting to upset her any more.’
‘The bank basically told me to get stuffed. I’ve got no collateral. I can’t wait to tell Marina that one. Another ball-busting trip to London for me this week.’
‘But what about all the extra work you’ve been doing?’
‘As the bank manager pointed out, what if I got kicked in the leg by a bull and couldn’t work for three months? How would the bank get their money then?’
‘Seems rather short sighted of them.’
‘It’s all about risk. And I’m a poor risk.’
‘Could anyone else lend you the money?’ She thought of the holiday cottages – perhaps Geoffrey had some spare cash.
‘I can’t ask Dad. He’s already helping me out by letting me live rent-free in the barn and run the practice for him. Usually you have to buy into a practice. I’m not even sure what he’s living on at the moment.’ He plunged his hands into his hair and looked up at the night sky. ‘Oh God, it’s all such a mess. Marina’s still making noises about us getting back together again.’
‘Oh.’ Ella didn’t know what to say. Should she be encouraging? She had no idea how he felt about Marina. Did he still love her? How could he not – she looked stunning, super-organised, efficient, successful, perfect girlfriend material. He hadn’t given much away about her.
‘I know part of it is because she’s realised how much she relied on me for help with diagnosis. She’s had a couple of complaints apparently from viewers about duff information. She never was much of an academic. Scraped through her degree. Not that she’d ever admit that to anyone. And spending so much time filming, she’s not kept up with new research the way she should.’
‘So do you think you might go back to her?’ Ella asked tentatively.
‘Who knows?’ He shoved his hands in his pockets. ‘Financially, it would make life easier if I did go back. And I could practise the area of medicine I really want to get into.’
Poor Devon, he sounded as confused as she was. It made her feel guilty. She needed to speak to Patrick, not keep him hanging on. Speaking freely to Devon the other day had made her realiseshe couldn’t ever go back. Aside from not wanting the same as her ultimately, he hadn’t done anything wrong. It wasn’t as if they’d ever talked about family or marriage. They’d each made their own assumptions.
They continued their walk as daylight slipped into dusk. It gave the reservoir an ethereal feel, mist floating over the water, ducks hugging the edge.
‘I’ve started painting again.’ Ella didn’t know where the words came from or why she thought Devon would be interested but they burst out of her as she watched the wind tossing the water up into a crossfire of ripples.
‘What, different from the mice?’ asked Devon without missing a beat.
‘Very different. Landscapes. Watercolours even. I’ve never done them before. They never appealed. I think they might qualify as real art.’
‘Glad to hear it.’
‘Not that they’d get any critical acclaim or anything but I’m doing them because I can’t not.’
‘Would you believe me if I said that’s why I practise veterinary science? I can’t not do it any more. I think that’s why it was easy to leave Marina. I hated what I was doing. Clipping guinea pig toenails. Trying to persuade owners of overweight pugs to put them on diets. Whereas, even at four in the morning,’ he shot her a mischievous look, ‘I don’t mind getting out of bed to help deliver a breeched foal. I never ever thought of doing anything else and I loved my job until moving to Islington. London was where it all went wrong.’
‘But you’re getting back on your feet now.’
