‘What about?’
Anna screwed up her face. ‘I was trying to be honest with him. Not make him feel trapped.’
‘What the bogging hell are you talking about?’
‘He was worried that I might regret finishing with Steve, so I wanted to reassure him that I’m not expecting anything permanent. I thought he’d be pleased.’
‘Run that by me again.’ Becs placed her coffee cup down in front of her.
‘That’s what men like Leo want, isn’t it? Not to be tied down. I was trying not to be needy.’
Anna felt like an insect under a microscope under her cousin’s stern gaze and began to squirm in her seat when her cousin didn’t say anything.
Eventually Becs leaned forward. If she’d been wearing glasses, she would have been peering at Anna over the top of them. ‘You pillock,’ she said.
‘What?’
‘He’s in love with you and you’re in love with him. It’s so frigging obvious.’
‘That doesn’t mean it’s going to work out.’
‘It doesn’t mean it won’t.’ Becs shook her head, her eyes signalling utter disbelief at what she clearly considered Anna’s utter reprehensibility. ‘Not all men are philanderers.’
‘I know that.’ Anna pinched her mouth closed in mutinous defence. But did she?
‘I should have said, not all charming men are philanderers.’
Anna’s stomach clenched. ‘Leo could have any woman he wants.’
With a roll of her eyes, Becs shook her head vehemently as if Anna was the stupidest person on the planet. ‘He wants you.’
‘Yes, but not enough.’ And that was the crux of it. There was always a chance he would walk away, get bored with her, find someone more dazzling, someone like him.
‘What are you talking about?’ Exasperation and impatience vibrated through her cousin’s voice.
Closing her eyes, Anna tried to push away the shame and the pain.
‘It was my fault we split up when we were married. I panicked and walked out, thinking I was brave doing it to him before he did it to me.’ She cringed at the memory. She’d been such a child. ‘I left him a note, telling him how I felt. That I didn’t think was enough for him, that I was setting him free.’ She turned to her cousin, all the embarrassment at her poor behaviour rushing up in a tide of heat on her face. ‘God, I was such an insecure brat. Iwantedhim to come running after me and tell me I was wrong. I was desperate for him to do that. I’d seen Uncle Henry growing up, I knew that’s what handsome, charming men were like.’
‘Because Dad’s a dick,’ suggested Becs. ‘But he’s my dick, unfortunately. Mum knows he’ll never change but for the most part he does keep it in his pants. There were a couple of times he’s gone too far but both times he’s come straight home and told her he made a mistake. I know it’s not perfect – but it works for them. They’re happy most of the time. He’s a flirt … but I think she secretly quite likes the fact that other women fancy him, but it’s her who owns him. He won’t ever leave.’
Rebecca’s face closed down, bitterness etched into the lines around her mouth. ‘And I hate him for that. For setting such a shit example and for her never calling him out on it.’ She tapped her fingers on the coffee mug in front of her. ‘I need to move away. Like you did. It’s not a healthy relationship. But surely you see Leo’s not like that. There’s a huge difference between him and Dad. Leo doesn’t go out with the intention of flirting and feeding off female adulation. He’s a friendly guy who can’t help himself, lighting up when other people are around, men and women. He doesn’t suck people in and make it about him.’ Rebecca gave her a stern, direct stare. ‘When it comes to you, he looks after you, he puts you first and he does nice things for you. He’s a world apart from Dad.’
Anna considered her words, they flashed about for a moment, random jigsaw pieces, and as she tried to make sense of them they began to arrange themselves into a clear picture. But Becs hadn’t finished.
‘And you, you light up when he’s around. I knew as soon as I arrived that something was different. Youneverlooked happy with Steve. You were like a sad puppy in tow behind him all the time. Now, it’s obvious you’re having fun. Doing new things. Leo’s good for you. Don’t let him walk away.’
Anna covered her face, eyes closed. Leo was Leo, a bright star bursting across the sky, nothing like her uncle. She’d been too blind and prejudiced to see it … and also too scared.
‘Too late, he already has.’
‘It’s not too late. Go after him.’
Anna swallowed, her stomach hollow and empty at the memory of how stupid she’d been. ‘When I left him, he didn’t come after me. I wasn’t that important to him. In a childish way, I was testing him and he failed.’
To her surprise, Becs looked stricken. ‘Leo did come,’ she whispered, her eyes widening.
‘What?’
