Anna winced. Thathadbeen deliberate omission on her part. For the first year she’d separated from Leo, whenever his name came within the family, her terrible and ridiculous mistake was raked over like they were mining for diamonds among the ashes. Then they stopped mentioning him, and it had never come up in front of Steve.
‘Have you’ve done the right thing? You’ve not gone and fallen for Leo again, have you? This isn’t a reverse rebound thing?’
‘I’m not sure reverse rebound is a thing. It’s nothing to do with Leo. I found I didn’t actually miss Steve that much and then when he came this week…’ She paused. ‘I realised he was a selfish prat. And I didn’t want to be with him anymore.’
‘Harsh but honest, I guess. You know Mum thinks you’re mad. And James is furious. There’s a lot to be said for someone as reliable and dependable as Steve.’
‘I know. You might have mentioned it. But it’s not enough. I want more.’
‘Don’t we all,’ said Rebecca with a wistful note in her voice.
Anna hung up thoughtfully. She had done the right thing, even if it did leave her as the odd one out in the family again. They’d all loved Steve – although it sounded as if Rebecca understood. Whatever – dependability wasn’t a good enough reason to stay with someone.
A noise caught her attention and she sat up, watching as a white sheet of paper appeared under the door along with an empty Lindt chocolate cardboard sleeve. Intrigued, she rose to her feet and picked up the paper. Leo had drawn a little cartoon – she’d forgotten how good he was at drawing – depicting a stick woman with a sad face and a plate of chocolate. Underneath he’d written, ‘Sorry the chocolate won’t fit under the door but I’m looking after it for you ??’
Beneath it there was a second drawing of a stick man, his mouth covered in chocolate, an innocent look on his face, with the caption ‘I tried’.
An involuntary smile touched her mouth. Leo at his sweetest. It brought a flood of memories. When they’d been married he’d often left her little drawings and messages pinned up in various places: the bathroom mirror when he left the house before her, on the fridge when he was coming home late, stuck on the television when he was out watching football. This wasn’t his fault at all. She was the one who had blurted out the truth to Michaela and Jan. He hadn’t done anything wrong and he certainly hadn’t done anything to deserve the big bruise he was currently sporting along the right side of his jaw. That was partly why she was avoiding him, because she felt so bad that Steve had thumped him and that he’d still come to her defence when Steve had pushed her. The dark purple shadow exacerbated her guilt. She had made a mess of things but none of it was Leo’s fault.
Five minutes later after, she made her way up the stairs to find him.
‘Don’t suppose you saved me some chocolate?’
Leo, who was lying on the floor absorbed in a book with music pumping from his phone, started and then gave her a sheepish grin.
‘Good job I bought two bars,’ he said, wriggling to a sitting position and looking up at her. ‘Would you like a cup of tea? And look, I bought kindling and firelighters. I was waiting for you before I lit the fire for the first time.’
‘You don’t need to make it for me,’ she said but he was already on his feet and leading the way into the kitchen. She followed and took up residence on one of the bar stools as Leo opened a cupboard.
‘Here you go – your favourite, I seem to recall.’ He handed the bar over to her and she traced the familiar gold name on the front of the packet.
‘Still my favourite,’ she said with a sad smile, as her heart pinched at his thoughtfulness.
‘Mine, too.’ His cheerful grin warmed her. Leo had always been so open and easy. ‘Of course it tastes so much better if you share it.’
‘It does?’ She quirked an eyebrow.
‘Absolutely,’ he replied, his eyes twinkling.
Her heart did another one of those funny little hitches. She had chocolate and suddenly things didn’t seem so bad.
Leo settled down beside her, handing her a mug of tea, and she carefully unwrapped the foil on the chocolate and offered him a piece.
They sat side by side munching without saying anything.
‘So how areyoufeeling?’
She turned to look at him and for the first time checked over her emotions, in the same way she might pat her body down for injuries. Leo’s emphasis on the word ‘you’ made her realise that she’d spent the week thinking more about how she’d disappointed everyone else and let down the family, and the storm she’d created.
Now she took stock of her own emotions. Howdidshe feel?
Relieved.
It was relief. As if tight bandages had been wrapped around her ribs, constricting her, and they’d been loosened. She could breathe more deeply and easily, she could move more freely. It was the weirdest sensation – weird because it was unfamiliar.
She stared at Leo as she absorbed the implications.
‘Anna?’
