She had been the one that had given up and walked away because she knew he would fall out of love with her. Because, according to everything she’d ever been told, love like that didn’t really exist. Her aunt always spoke of her parents in a slightly syrupy tone, sympathetic while intimating that their ‘sweet’ relationship would never have survived long-term.
‘Do you fancy a beer?’ Steve’s voice intruded her thoughts.
Anna stared at him. She’d been so lost in her memories she’d almost forgotten he was there.
‘What?’ she asked, a little bemused. She knew she shouldn’t but she studied him, comparing him to Leo. Steve was sturdy, dependable, a palette of taupes, beiges and mushrooms. Leo was a sunburst, bringing light into the darkest corners. Something uncomfortable settled in the pit of her stomach, heavy with the weight of disquiet.
‘Beer? Lunch? There’s an Irish bar near the square.’ He was already tugging at her to turn her around and head back towards the Old Town.
‘We can’t drink Guinness in Prague,’ said Anna with mock horror. ‘It’s sacrilege.’ Though she was only half joking.
‘It’s a sports bar, we can catch the second half of the Liverpool game.’ Steve shot her a winning smile.
‘Or we could walk up to the castle and have a beer up there,’ replied Anna. ‘There’s a fantastic view over the city.’
Steve pulled a face. ‘Do we have to? I’d really like to see the Liverpool game.’
‘And I’d really like to eat at Kuchyn,’ said Anna, the forced smile in her eyes hiding her irritation.
She saw the set of his jaw and lifted her chin.
‘Or we could go and watch the game.’
Anna shook her head. ‘You can watch the game anytime.’
‘Come on, it’s Liverpool. We can go to your restaurant next time I come over.’
Suddenly Anna couldn’t be bothered to argue the toss. It was a watershed moment. She really didn’t care where they went because either way it was suddenly very obvious to her that both of them wanted very different things.
* * *
When the final whistle of the game blew and the pub erupted with a cheer, Steve was immediately embroiled in the post-match breakdown with his immediate neighbours, two brothers from the Wirral, and Anna had made up her mind. She surreptitiously checked her watch. Before he left for his flight, there would be a brief window of time when they were back at the apartment and she could sit down and talk to him. All she had to do was work out the phrasing in her head for the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ conversation they were going to have to have.
As they opened the front door of the apartment a gale of laughter came from upstairs.
‘Looks like someone’s entertaining,’ muttered Steve. ‘You still need to think about moving out, you know. I’ve never liked the idea of you sharing the place with that guy. He’s a bit of a tosser.’
Surprised by his belligerence, she should have pointed out that in fact it was the first time Leo had invited anyone over. Instead she asked, ‘What makes you say that?’ She genuinely wanted to know. Leo had never fitted in with her family nor, it appeared, with Steve. Why was that?
‘You know,’ said Steve with a vague flutter of his hands as they went into her bedroom.
‘No, I don’t.’ She put down her handbag on the bed and turned to face Steve who’d stuck his chin out in a familiar truculent stance.
‘He’s the sort that thinks he’s better than anyone else.’
‘Again,’ said Anna with a smile on her face, trying to defuse his unwarranted antagonism, ‘what makes you say that? Come on, what’s he done to you? He’s harmless.’
Steve shook his head. ‘I dunno. I don’t like him. And he’s too familiar with you, as if he knows you. I don’t like it.’
‘You’re being silly. He’s just a friendly guy.’ Even to her own ears, Anna’s words sounded false and over-bright as her heart did a funny pitter-patter. Leo and she had fallen into easy familiarity. Cooking and eating together. Chatting in the doorway of the bathroom while she waited for him to clean his teeth. Walking to the tram stop together every morning.
‘There’s something about him, like he knows something the rest of us don’t. When he smiles, I can see it. Like there’s a secret joke going on.’
Anna turned away, feeling hot all of a sudden and dreading the conversation that they were about to have. She had a feeling Steve was going to get nasty and bring Leo into it.
‘And he swaggers around this place as if he owns it.’
She tried a small laugh, still with her back to him, going through her handbag as if she were looking for something. ‘He does lives here.’
