‘I think you should,’ muttered Izzy.
Xanthe gave Philip a kiss on the cheek. ‘So lovely to see you, it’s so romantic surprising us like this. I’ll see you later.’ With that she tripped out of the room on her kitten heels, leaving behind a strong waft of her trademark Guerlain perfume.
Philip immediately stood and moved to sit beside Izzy.
‘Darling—’
Izzy let out an involuntary laugh. “Darling” coming from him sounded so … so ridiculous.
Philip frowned. ‘What?’
‘Sorry,’ she said, spluttering slightly. ‘It just sounded’ – she lifted her shoulders – ‘well, you know. Odd.’
He narrowed his eyes. ‘There’s nothing odd about travelling for four hours to see you.’
She sighed. ‘Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?’ She thought about her lists. ‘It’s really not a good time.’
Philip recoiled. ‘Izzy! I’ve come all this way to see you. I’ve missed you. Really missed you.’
She nodded, not really knowing what to say to that. There were so many other things to think about, like whether Jeanette was putting the shopping away in the right places – the vegetables for Christmas Day should go in the second fridge in the pantry, along with any other items that needed to be kept separately. Would she know that the beef was for Christmas Eve? – and whether Ross would ever kiss her again.
Her hands plucked at the fabric of her jeans. One pot of cream was for the soup but the other one needed to be put in the other fridge. Was Ross avoiding her, after that wits-scattering kiss?
‘Izzy. I made a terrible mistake with Antonia. Getting engaged like that so quickly.’
‘That was a year ago,’ said Izzy, frowning.
‘I know but it took me a while to realise what was missing in my life. It was you. Iz, you know me so much better than anyone else. Antonia just didn’t get me. You…’ He smiled at her, his eyes seeking hers. ‘You’ve always put up with my flaws and weaknesses. You understand the whole man.’ Izzy frowned again. But what about her? Everything he was saying was about him. What about them being together was good for her?
The door opened and Philip looked up, his face immediately a mask of distaste. ‘What’s he doing here?’
Izzy turned to find Ross standing in the doorway, those broad shoulders framed by the entrance.
‘Sorry,’ he said in a brusque voice, ‘didn’t realise there was anyone in here.’ For a moment he stared at Izzy, those blue eyes too perceptive by far. Her brain short-circuited and she stared at his lips because she couldn’t seem to do anything else. He waited, a clear invitation for Izzy to speak if she wanted to but she couldn’t find the words, her brain had been sucker punched by a completely new realisation. When she didn’t say anything, he nodded and left.
‘He lives here,’ said Izzy in a quiet voice. It was obvious Ross had come to see if she needed rescuing. Doing something for her, just like he so often did. That was what friends did. They got up in the middle of the night to empty buckets. They gave people lifts to Edinburgh even though it could potentially expose their secret. They carried you when your feet were frozen.
Like Philip had said so many times, she knew him better than anyone else and she knew with absolute clarity that he would never have done any of those things for her. He only wanted her when he needed her. She was useful to him, nothing more.
‘Do you love me, Philip?’
The classic mouth-dropping-open surprise told her everything as he struggled to say anything.
‘I … well, of course. We’ve known each other for ever. You know I do.’
She stood.
‘Where are you going?’
‘To phone for a taxi to take you back to Fort William.’
‘What! Don’t be silly. What’s this about? Not saying the words?’
‘No,’ said Izzy, giving him a blinding smile, everything clicking into place. ‘But I’m just so busy. I haven’t got time for you today or tomorrow or the day after. Give me a call in the New Year and perhaps we can go out for a meal in Edinburgh or something.’
‘Izzy! You can’t do this to me.’
‘Do what?’
