As she raised her head, she saw the large sprawling grey stone building, transformed at one end by a huge picture window and new wooden window frames.
‘This is the place you’ve been working on?’ There was a flutter in her chest.
‘Yes,’ said Conor, suddenly serious and a touch wary. ‘Thought you might like to see it.’
‘I’d love to,’ she said, aware that this was akin to him placing a tiny, fragile baby bird in her hand. Now probably wasn’t the time to tell him that she wanted to stay.
She followed him round to the front to the house. A gravelled track ran up across the hill which she assumed led down to the farmhouse in the next valley. She smiled. ‘A good distance and out of sight of the family.’
‘Exactly.’ He winked at her before leading the way to a neat storm porch with a weathered tiled roof and sturdy front door of oak. She could picture it in a few years’ time with climbing plants trailing up the posts. He opened the door and she stepped over the threshold into a stone-flagged hallway with a freestanding wooden staircase which wound around the wall up to the next floor, where a long gallery fronted the void which was open to the high ceiling.
‘Wow. This is quite an entrance.’ She gazed upwards, admiring the wonderful light and the gorgeous sense of space.
‘Like it?’
‘Love it. It’s fantastic.’ Her eyes glowed with enthusiasm and suddenly Conor’s face broke into a grin. He grabbed her hand and pulled her forward through another solid wooden door.
‘Oh my goodness!’ Hannah exclaimed as she walked into the room, her eyes swivelling around as she tried to take in the wonderful open-plan space. At one end, a huge kitchen with a breakfast bar dominated the room and at the other the picture window in the lounge created the focal point of the most wonderful view of the sea. There was no furniture yet but she could see it so clearly: long lean sofas arranged in an L shape around the wood burner that had already been installed. She bent down to touch the honey-coloured wide-planked wooden floor, her fingers rubbing along the grooves, and looked up at the A frames holding up the roof. She could imagine being in here, Conor cooking and her curled up with a book, the fire roaring in the burner and her eyes drawn to the rain-lashed windows and the wild sea beyond, feeling snug and warm.
Her heart pinched at the image and suddenly she wanted that more than anything in the world. Could she risk her heart, her life and make it a reality? Should she tell him now? She gnawed at her lip. What was the worst that could happen?He could tell you he doesn’t feel the same, you fool, shouted the sensible voice in her head, the one that usually took charge. She couldn’t bring herself to say anything. Instead she stood and slid an arm around his waist.
‘This is incredible. It’s such a beautiful space. It’s exactly like your design. You must be so pleased.’
‘I am but it’s nice to hear it from someone else.’
‘Your mum really hasn’t seen it?’ Hannah couldn’t quite believe that he’d managed to keep Adrienne away.
He laughed. ‘No, not for want of trying. I’ve had the glass covered up so there was no peeking. I want it to be finished before I show it to anyone but I thought you… Well, it seemed right. Besides, you’ll have gone by the time it’s finished.’ He gave her a perfunctory smile and moved out of her hold. Her chest felt as if it had been kicked. She really ought to tell him that she’d accepted a job with Aidan. It wouldn’t be long before he heard it for himself, if she wasn’t careful. News round here travelled fast.
Trying to keep her feelings from showing, she followed him as he showed her around the rest of the house. Thankfully, most of the rooms still needed a lot of work. Some of them were not yet plaster boarded and so the electric wires were hanging down and the waiting copper pipes were ready to be connected to radiators, which meant she didn’t have to pretend to be too effusive when her stomach was so tied up in knots. However, there was enough done in the master bedroom, with its corner window that took in the sea view and the range of hills away to the right, to see what it would be like and to increase her longing to stay. From the bed you’d be able to see the sea and through the Velux windows the sun would shine down on you. The en suite shower room was half tiled with simple cream tile bricks, with tubs of grout and sealed boxes of tiles filling one corner of the room. ‘No porn star shenanigans in there then,’ she teased, even though there was a lump in her throat as she admired the glossy rectangular glazed tiles.
‘No, although I’m game if you are.’
‘I’d be worried it might be a health and safety issue. I don’t fancy finding a tile spacer digging into my bottom.’ Pretending to be funny when she felt anything but was getting harder by the second.
‘And it’s a bit chilly. The heating’s not quite finished yet. The boiler’s being fitted this week.’
‘When do you think you’ll move in?’
‘Officially it’s all supposed to be complete at the end of October. There’s not too much more to be done – there’s only the fridge and the cookers to arrive in the kitchen – so I might move in earlier and live with the chaos.’
A dart of alarm shot through her at the thought of Conor moving out of the cottage. It signalled an ending. An ending she wasn’t ready for. She trailed a hand down the banister, revelling in the smooth texture of the solid oak, wanting to grab hold of it to anchor her to the spot. She had nothing and everything to lose.
‘Conor,’ she said in a rush of breath, the words tumbling out without proper thought or planning. ‘I’m thinking about staying.’
‘Staying?’ He looked around at the beautiful hallway and stiffened. She saw him closing himself off, in the sudden straightening of his posture, the tensing of the sinews in his hands, and the almost imperceptible tightening of his jaw. It gave her all the answers.
She nodded, nervous now, wishing she hadn’t just blurted it out like that. Wishing she’d rehearsed a proper speech to explain why she wanted to stay. She had a memory of a heated debate in an English class as to whether Elizabeth Bennett’s feelings had undergone a significant change when she’d seen Darcy’s home, Pemberley. When she’d seen what her life could be.
But Hannah had had to say it, not because the house was so beautiful but because she couldn’t imagine a life without him. Just the thought of him being here and her going back home was like a punch to the stomach.
‘I’ve been a offered a job.’
‘Let me guess, Adrienne offered you a job.’
‘Well, yes she did but—’
‘You never mentioned it before. Or should I guess?’ he asked with a lazy insolent drawl. ‘You’re to be another of Adrienne’s disciples, are you?’ His mouth twisted. ‘You’ve seen the light and you’re going to stay. Why am I not surprised?’
