I wanted what they had.
It was all I’d ever wanted.
With Cian.
But my life wasn’t mine to choose. I didn’t get to make my own decisions. Even now, I wanted to do what Maureen had done. I had the money. I could buy my way out.
But I couldn’t leave Boston. I loved it here, and unlike Maureen, I’d never dreamed of anywhere else. Boston was my home. It always would be. I hadn’t wanted to live in New York. But no one ever asked me what I wanted.
Except Cian.
Twenty-nine years ago...
I let my dress drop to the floor. Standing in the middle of the room in just my bra and panties, I waited. Cian’s eyes roamed over me, never settling on one spot for very long. It was as if his eyes couldn’t get enough of me.
“What do you want, Caity?”
“You.”
He licked his lips as he stared at me. His hand rubbed the back of his neck, and he wore his indecision like a cloak. The desire in his eyes was unmistakable, but he hesitated.
He was my brother’s friend.
My father’s soldier.
My husband’s enemy.
Cian hated Nolan. I didn’t know why, but they’d always been at odds with each other. And right at this very moment, I didn’t care how much Cian wanted me. I wanted him, and Ifound myself praying that his hatred for Nolan would spur on his need to conquer me.
I wanted him to use my body to fuel his vengeance.
He walked toward me slowly, removing his jacket and laying it across the back of the chair. As he loosened his tie, he said, “No one can ever know,banphrionsa.”
I knew he was right, but I wanted the world to know. Everyone knew Nolan wasn’t faithful to me. My father encouraged it. He said men had more needs than one woman could fulfill. It was the reason he’d never married. The reason he’d convinced Sal that Darcy wasn’t worth looking for.
Because men had needs.
As if women didn’t. But where my father was concerned, women’s needs didn’t matter beyond food, clothing, and shelter. That was what he provided my mother and Kathleen. He’d given them a home, and a stipend to make sure we were raised the right way. Because that was a woman’s job.
To raise children.
“I won’t tell if you don’t.” It was the only answer I could give. And it was honest. I would never tell. Nolan would kill me if he ever knew. And my father would kill Cian. All I would be allowed was this one night.
Cian stopped in front of me, and I raised my hands to the placket of his shirt. One by one, I slipped the buttons through the holes, and when I finished, I grazed my hands over his chest as I slipped the shirt off his shoulders, letting it fall to the floor.
He held me hostage with his steamy gaze as I reached for his belt. I quickly unbuckled it and pulled it from the loops. He removed it from my hands and placed it around the back of my neck. Holding each end, he pulled me forward until his lips were on mine.
My hands went to his waist, and his skin was hot. My eyes closed, and already I felt more from his kiss than I had ever feltfrom Nolan. I pressed against him, wanting to be closer. I let my hands wander over his body. His chest, his abs, his back, his ass. I couldn’t get enough of him.
“Cian, please.”
“What do you want,banphrionsa?”
“I want more. More of you,” I whispered. I’d never felt so bold. The belt fell to the floor, and he trailed kisses across my jaw and down my throat. His hands slid down my shoulders, caressing my arms, causing a shiver to wrack my body.
I’d never known anything like this. My body tingled everywhere he touched. Everywhere he kissed. His hands grasped my buttocks, and I gasped when my feet left the floor. Wrapping my legs around his waist and my arms around his shoulders, I kissed him fervently as he walked toward the bed.
I woke with a start. The dream always ended there. For over two decades, all I’d had of him were my memories. I’d hoped that with Nolan gone, maybe there would be an opportunity for us to rekindle what we’d had that night.
