“Jesus Christ.” He ran a hand over his face.
He parted his knees wider as I stepped between them. My hands cradled his face. “It doesn’t matter, Ci.”
“It fuckin’ matters, Caity. Aside from Jane Craven, Sylvia St. James was the head fuckin’ bitch. What does that make me?”
“It doesn’t change who you are. You are the son of Daniel and Tabitha McCarthy. You are who you are because they raised you;they loved you. It’s nurture versus nature. Who you share DNA with doesn’t make you who you are. The people who influenced your life as you grew and matured—they’re who made you the man you are today.”
He looked up at me. “What about my father?”
“Your father was Daniel McCarthy,” I stated emphatically.
“Caity.” I dropped my eyes to the floor. I didn’t want to tell him. I didn’t want him to know how close he was to everything. How it could have been him. If he’d been raised by either of his biological parents, he would be a different person completely.
“Who was it, Caity?”
“Ci, it doesn’t matter who he was. He was a monster, and that’s not who you are. Just because you share DNA doesn’t mean you are anything like either of them. You’re a good man, Ci.”
Cian stood from the couch, his hands on my arms as he set me back away from him. I was on the verge of losing him. Once he knew the truth, he would walk away from me. He’d believe he was evil, like them.
“Caity, please, tell me who he was.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat. My eyes burned with unshed tears. Tears I knew would unleash as soon as he walked out the door. And he would walk out the door. He’d leave me. Leave the family. Leave Maddie.
Maddie!
“Maddie needs you, Ci. You can’t walk away from her. You can’t leave her now she knows.”
“Who. Was. He?” His voice was low. With a dark tone I had never heard from him before. I took a deep a breath and told him the truth.
“Fuck!” he cursed.
He grabbed his jacket as he walked toward the elevator.
“Cian! Please don’t leave!” I shouted after him, but he was already in the elevator, the doors closing him in.
Then he was gone.
And I didn’t know if he would ever come back.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Cian
When the elevator doors opened into the lobby, I stared at the carpet.
“Mr. McCarthy? Is everything all right?”
I heard Walter, the doorman’s voice, but it was hollow, far away. I nodded without thinking as I stepped into the lobby and headed for the front door. Walter quickly stepped in front of me, opening it for me, and the sounds of Boston swirled around me.
I started walking with no destination in mind. I didn’t want to go to the office; I didn’t want to ask Sal the question that was on my mind. The truth was, I feared the answer.
Did he know?
Did Duncan?
Mac?
Had they all known the truth of who I was and said nothing? When my parents told me I was adopted, they said they didn’t know who my biological parents were. That they weren’t told.
