“Both of you,” he growled.
“I think it’s obvious why I was there.”
Freyja giggled at my remark, and I smiled in her direction.
“You went there specifically to cheat on your husband?” my brother asked.
“Yes.”
“Why the fuck did you get married?”
I stared at my brother.He didn’t just ask me that question.
“Caity,” Cian whispered.
“No,” I said, holding up my hand and cutting him off. I glared at my brother. “You want to know why I got married, Sal? Because I didn’t have a fuckin’ choice. I wasn’t asked whether I wanted to get married. I didn’t get to pick my dress or where the ceremony was. I had no input on the flowers, the cake, the fuckin’ guest list!” I shouted. “No one ever asked me what I wanted until that night,” I said, tapping the picture of me and Cian at the bar. “Ci asked me what I wanted, and you know what I told him?”
“Caity, don’t,” Sal warned, his hands fisted at his sides.
“I told him I wantedhim. I wanted him to fuck me, Sal. I wanted to feel him inside me. I wanted to feel loved and cherished for once in my goddamn life. It was the only choice I ever made in my whole fuckin’ life that was for me.”
I turned around and found Cian watching me. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t you dare apologize.”
I walked to the kitchen and pulled the bottle of vodka from the freezer. I poured some into a glass and stood in front of the counter and drank it, ignoring everyone else.
“Everyone, get the fuck out,” Cian said behind me. I didn’t turn around to see if they listened. I heard movement, and I knew Freyja was shoving Duncan out the door. Mac would follow. Sal was anyone’s guess. He hated being dismissed. He hated being talked down to.
My father had done it for years, so Sal did his best not to be our father. Maybe that was why we were in this mess now. Maybe if Sal really had been as ruthless as Eamon, we wouldn’t be dealing with this shit. But Sal never would have worked with theSociety.He didn’t have it in him to be that evil.
Arms wrapped around me from behind, and I felt Cian’s breath on my neck. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m sorry you had to go through all that shit for so long.”
“There was nothing you could have done.”
“I could have killed him.”
“My father would have killed you.”
“Your father has been dead for over twenty years, Caity.” His chin rested on my shoulder, and he sighed. “I thought you were happy. At least content. If I’d known I would have gotten rid of him years ago.”
It was nice to think about, but even if Cian had killed Nolan, we still wouldn’t be together. We could never be together.
He kissed the side of my neck, and I closed my eyes.
“What do you want, Caity?” he asked between kisses. “Tell me what you want and I’ll do it. I’ll give you the world if you let me.”
“You can’t give me what I want, Ci.”
He spun me around and looked into my eyes. “Tell me what you want. Tell me and it’s yours.”
“I want the life we were supposed to live. I want Maddie to grow up with you as her father. I want the other children we were supposed to have. I want to watch our daughter walk down the aisle. I want to know our son-in-law. I want to know our grandson.”
Cian lifted his hand to wipe away my tears. Then he leaned in and kissed me.
“Maddie had me, Caity. She might not have known I was her father, but she always had me. And we can know our son-in-lawthrough her. She can tell us about him. And we will get Henry back. If it’s the last fuckin’ thing I do, Maddie will have her son.”
He wrapped his arms around me, and I clung to him as I sobbed against his chest.
