Even after learning about my nephew and what Darcy had done, I blamed her. Never my father. But now I couldn’t hide my head in the sand any longer. The truth was staring me in the face.
“Doing what’s right doesn’t absolve us from the guilt we feel for the choices we make, Caity.”
“No, it doesn’t,” I whispered, thinking about the secrets I’d held for years.
With a heavy breath, I looked at Brian. When Sal found out I went over his head, he’d be angry. Having an affair with his best friend would be easier to forgive than the betrayal I was committing now.
“I started cleaning out the house myself. If I have to live there, I want it to reflect me and what I want. Not my father’s decades-old décor.” I chuckled. “The office was locked, but beingEamon O’Malley’s daughter, I’ve learned enough through the years that a simple lock on a door won’t keep me out.”
Brian sat forward and leaned on the table. I reached for my drink and took a sip. A little liquid courage to get through this next part.
“I found something. I know I should have gone to Sal. But this will break him, Brian. I don’t know how to tell him what I found without destroying him.”
I pushed the file folder across the table, and Brian opened it up and looked at the information inside. “Fuck!” he cursed. “What else have you found?”
“Nothing. I just started going through everything. Does that mean what I think it means, Brian?”
“Leave it with me, and I will find the truth.” His hand lay heavy on the folder. He studied my face before asking, “Will you be able to keep this information from him until I know for sure?”
I nodded. “I’m pretty good at keeping secrets.” I looked away, not wanting to see the disappointment on Brian’s face.
“Caity, you did what you felt was right.”
“But it wasn’t right.” I blinked away my tears.
“The choices we make don’t always make sense, but they are our choices to make. No one else’s.”
“And if it affects someone else’s life? What then?”
Brian leaned back in his chair, bringing the glass of whiskey to his lips. Emptying his glass, he held it up in a silent request for the waitress to refill it.
She hurried over and filled the glass. As she turned away, he caught her wrist. “Leave the bottle.” She nodded and placed the bottle on the table. Brian picked it up, and with a lift of his eyebrows, he asked a question. I pushed my glass toward him and allowed him to fill it.
“Every decision you make in life affects someone else. Sometimes it’s a detriment; sometimes it’s a blessing.Sometimes you won’t know until after the decision has been made. All you can do, Caity, is the best you can. You made a decision to protect your daughter.”
“A decision that cost her everything.”
“Her decisions cost her everything. Not yours. She had options you didn’t. She had a father who, while he didn’t know she was his, loved her unconditionally. And she had an uncle who would have burned the world down for her. She chose not to trust either of them. That’s on her, not you.”
In my head, I knew he was right. But in my heart, I’d failed my daughter. My only child. That wasn’t something I could easily forgive myself for. If I ever could at all.
The banging on my front door woke me from my sleep. I groaned out a curse. What could be so important this early in the morning? My mind immediately went to Maddie, and I jumped out of my bed and threw on my robe.
She still wasn’t speaking to me. If only she’d let me explain, maybe she’d forgive me. Brian’s words from the night before ran through my head. Maddie was responsible for her own decisions, but maybe if she’d known who her father really was, she would have made a different choice.
I rushed down the stairs as the knocking persisted, getting louder. I yanked the door open, and Cian stood there.
“Cian,” I breathed. “Is Maddie...”
“Maddie is fine.” He pushed past me, not waiting for me to invite him in.
“Then where’s the fuckin’ fire?” I clipped, my anger building. It was my defense against him. If I were angry with him, Iwouldn’t throw myself into his arms and beg him to forgive me. “What are you doing here?”
“Why were you meeting with Buchannon last night?”
I gaped at him. “How do you know that?”
“Because I fuckin’ saw you.”
