I gave Gunner a lot of shit when he was stalking Haizley. The truth was, I was no better. If Grace ever found out just how much I was involved in her life, well, let’s just say the beatdown she gave me when I kissed her in front of the club would be a love tap compared to the ass kicking she would rein down on me.
No, those would be my secrets. And mine alone. My brothers didn’t even know the extent of my obsession with Grace.
And they never would.
Now here I was again, wanting to lean on her. Dump my shit on her, as Amber had said. Hold her in my arms. It was the only time I felt any peace. With all the shit I had done in my life, I never expected to feel anything but guilt and shame. But Grace made me feel everything.
She made me feel loved.
It wasn’t fair to her. I knew that. It wasn’t fair to me either. I didn’t really give a shit about Steele’s feelings. But there were rules that, as president of my own chapter, I couldn’t ignore.
Another chapter president’s daughter was off-limits. More so when that chapter was your Mother Chapter, and that president was yours.
As a one percenter, I spent a good deal of my adult life ignoring the rules of society. The rules of the MC were what we lived by.
We had a code.
We had honor, among ourselves anyway.
That honor didn’t keep me from loving her. It only kept me from claiming her as mine.
The reality was, Steele had no idea who she was. At least I didn’t think he did. He had been to the clubhouse numerous times and never looked twice at her.
But I knew who she was. Who her father was. I might be a criminal, but I still had morals. I might not live my life by society’s laws, but I lived by the MC’s.
“What are you sorry for?” she asked.
I didn’t know how to answer that. There were so many things I was sorry for. I was sorry I’d led her on for so long. I was sorry I was too much of a pussy to take what I wanted.
I was sorry I couldn’t let her go.
“You don’t even know why I’m so pissed, do you?”
“It’s because I won’t claim you,” I said, though I knew that wasn’t it. Ravage’s words ran through my head.
“It’s because you won’t let go, asshole,” Grace hissed.
“I can’t let you go, Grace. I know I should, but I can’t. I need you. I want you. I love you.”
“Then let him go.” Tears formed in her eyes. “Let him go, and pick me.”
“It’s not that simple, Grace. Things have to be done the right way.”
“Bullshit!” She backed away from me, and I let her go.
“Why can’t you fucking understand?” I shouted back. “I can’t walk away. Not from my brothers, not from the club. Not for you.”
She glared at me, taking a further step back. She straightened her back and looked me in the eye.
“I never asked you to walk away from the club. I asked you to walk toward me. I’ve begged you to let me walk with you.” Tears slipped down her cheek, and I wanted to reach up and wipe them away. “You’re right. This shit has to end.”
She turned away and walked out of my office and probably out of my life. I walked around my desk and punched my fist into the wall. Another hole was added to the wall. Added to my soul.
My phone rang on my desk, and I thought about ignoring it. When I saw Cash’s name, I knew if I didn’t answer, he’d just come looking for me.
“What?” I grunted as I dropped into my chair.
“He’s here.”
